Do It At The Disco

love is a seven letter word (s-p-l-o-o-s-h)

2010-03-25T19:53:00.007-04:00

AHHHHH, YOU GUYS! AHHH TILL THE END OF TIME! archer's season finale was what, like, a whole week ago? and i still haven't said anything about this show? WHAT UP WITH THAT? and it's especially crazy that i haven't broken my silence re: archer because i love it so much. like, seriously? ever since the untimely demise of 70/30 productions, and, subsequently, its creations frisky dingo and sealab: 2021 (RIP, pour one out for the annihilatrix and grizzlebee's onion bursts, respectively), i have had a hole in my heart that seemingly no adult cartoon could fill. i resorted to empty sex, as is my way, but no amount of monotonous boning via worthless TV programming was enough. I HAD A HUNGER. A DESIRE. A FIRE. ALL THE MAKINGS OF A HIT 80s ROCK BALLAD.

then archer came along. and i was like, what is this? what will this be? i found it comforting that the animation style was so much like frisky dingo's, and like a soft blanket you jacked from your gram's place because it smelled like childhood (cheap beer and plastic furniture covers in the summer), i wrapped myself up in it and settled in.

and oh my god. archer blew my mind. to be fair though, my mind is pretty easy. you don't know how many times i've had to stop my brain and be like, "dude, come on. he doesn't actually drive a benz. and his condo is a crack den. just because he dances well and bought you a drink doesn't mean you should go home with him tonight. brain! brain! don't get in that car! i'm calling you a cab. YOU'RE DRUNK." even still, i thought archer was great. i slowly felt that hole in my heart start to fill up until there wasn't one anymore. it was nice and smooth, like the part of the road near my house that got re-paved.

anyway, i could go on all day about how great the sharp writing and the casting (oh my god, JESSICA WALTERS WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR TWO ROLES: LUCILLE BLUTH AND MALORY ARCHER. I'M SERIOUS. WE'RE DONE HERE. and fuckkkkkk meeeee with a chaaaiiinnsaaaw i am so glad to see h. jon benjamin back on a cartoon. i missed him so hard post-home movies. you know that scene where coach mcguirk is trying to become a bartender but keeps failing and ends up drunk on all the ridiculously bad cocktails he's mixed at home for himself? you know that's basically a metaphor for my life? oh, thought you knew.) are and how perfect ALL of it is, because it ALL is, but mostly i want to talk about how meaningful the season finale ("dial m for mother") was to me. it like, took all these warm, fuzzy feelings i had, bought them a pretty little princess dress and a corsage, and escorted them to the senior prom of MY HEART. it was, in a nutshell, EVERYTHING i missed about frisky dingo. everything i watched archer for. everything i love about adult cartoons. and more. ANDDDD MORRRREEEE.

without giving away any of the storyline, because it's pretty interesting, i just want to point out a few things that got me in *here* (by 'here' i definitely mean heart. not mouth, you jerk! IT'S NOT ALWAYS FOODFOODFOOD with me, you know!):

the constant use of the word "sploosh." x-tacles, anybody? "boosh"? classic catchphrase. sploosh took me there. took me back to the days of saying BOOSH! after everything.
how much pam reminds me of valerie, killface's former assistant. like, JESUS. she's hell-bent on getting someone to sleep with her and she possesses that same bitter, cynical, annoyed view of the world. seriously, the parallels between the two of them light up my world.
the running steuben bar glass set joke! AHHHH, YOU GUYS! flashbacks to simon and the bowls! "THAT'S OUR LAST BOWL!" tears in my eyes. glow in my heart.

from the c-storyline involving the russian agents with the fake baby to the machine built just to erotically asphyxiate cheryl to the KGB agent that keeps running around holding a pink silk nightie, this episode was the most perfect departure from all the (relative) normalcy that archer possesses. this is where it just dove face first into absurdity, but it was lovely and hilarious and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt and i mean, i can't even begin to tell you how it felt to finally connect with a show as much as i connected with frisky dingo. it was just fan-fucking-tastic.

and yes, archer does have its moments of ableism and sexism, but i can appreciate that they're acknowledged as character flaws vs the family guy method of shrugging, muttering, "welp!" and accepting that a baby is just going to be racist. BECAUSE WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO, RIGHT? it also bothers me somewhat how lana's body is illustrated: big tits, tiny waist, skimpy clothes, does a lot of gun shooting in lingerie. it's a little too lara croft for me but WHATEVER, GUYS! NOTHING'S PERFECT!

so basically i just want infinite seasons of archer forever and ever until i die. or until the jokes get stale and make me lose the will to live. i'm looking at you, the office.

she is exactly right, you guys.

2009-10-24T23:13:00.004-04:00

as even more proof that she is as lovely as she appears, miss frl. zucker caught wind of my (borderline creepy? i'm bad at the internet, i think) post in which i basically confessed my complete and utter adoration of her and used it not to toot her own horn (although it is a horn which deserves as much honking as the one on her supercute bike gwenog jones), but to bouy the self-esteems of her fellow ladies, writing this:

anything i can do you can do too. i neither have a secret talent nor am i gifted. i'm not trying to be modest, this is truly my honest opinion. reading this also made me think of how i am constantly comparing myself to others aswell, how i always think others are so much greater than me, draw better than me, do much cooler things than me, are happier and prettier than me, etc. i don't believe this is a healthy habit. you and i aren't any better or worse than the people around us, i am slowly learning this. everyone can make something from nothing everyday in their own way. you don't have to watch people doing cool things, you can be the one doing those things! you've got the power! seriously.

and you know what, folks? she's right! while i don't think there's anything wrong with admiring someone or a quality of theirs, what do we gain from comparing ourselves to anyone else? nothing, but a one-way ticket to FROWNTOWN (population: you and those annoying hyenas from lion king that really got on my nerves). we have enough shit thrown at us on the daily to waste what's left of our energy on feeling bad about ourselves or what we have to offer! we should be focusing on what we're good at and what makes our boats float. then we should try to get rich and buy me a pizza oven. or not, that's really your call.

but don't get bogged down with what you can't do and look at what you can! pretty please? with sugar and a maraschino (like the cherry?) on top? yes, THANK YOU! i can't even believe this is a lesson we have to keep learning over and over again, but it is and we do. ah well. sisters are doing it for themsellllvessss!

ALSO: sarah and i are working on something super rad and totally bitchin'! so far we're just fleshing out the idea skeletons but if we cna put it on the internet, i think it'll be a big hit. you're gonna love it, pinky promise.

E

this is better than a marathon of degrassi with pink buttercream icing!

2009-10-20T14:48:00.006-04:00

let's just get this out in the open: i get way way way jealous of ladies on the internet nowadays. they are so enviably twee. and let me also say this: i fucking love twee. camera obscura, los campesinos! winterkids, the postmarks, the positions, etc etc etc. but eventually you start growing up and there's less and less time for vintage pillbox hats and floral tights. that's when you turn to the internet to twee-out vicariously through the adorable fashions and mannerisms of those much cuter and happier than i.

now that we've gotten that out of the way, i can freely admit that i have been majorly internet stalking this lady named frl. zucker for the LONGEST. she's so cute, my bones ache whenever i go to her blog, DEAR DIARY;. but it's a good hurt, like in that episode of weeds when shane gets shot and doesn't want to take any painkillers. this making sense? GOOD GREAT WONDERFUL. anyway, she's totally the business and a side of rice and beans because she's a lovely little feminist with a whimsical sense of style and illustrations that make me cry so hard out of happiness that blood pools in the corners of my eyes. (MEDICAL CONDITION THANKS LEAVE IT ALONE). plus she loves bikini kill and harry potter. AND she makes little zines you can color in (shown above)! and they're only eight dollars if you live in the US. way cheaper than the indie rock coloring book that someone should really purchase for me for christmas. she's basically the person i want to be but never was because i don't have the balls and none of my friends dress like that and it'd just be like WAY TO STICK OUT like the sorest fucking thumb in the city, erika!!!

but anyway look at me just prattling on. here are some of her precious drawings! PHOTO EVIDENCE that compels you to want to make snow angels in pink chalk dust and spun sugar!

how seriously fucking cute is this?! HOW CUTE?! i want to know this drawing in real life and get strawberry milkshakes with it at the soda fountain! i don't even like milkshakes!!!

she has a bike name gwenog jones! and it has a bell and a basket and a mirror. SWOON I DIE THE END.

LE MOTHERFUCKING SIGH.

is it weird to dream of being frl. zucker? is it okay to wear yellow tights in the US? is there some kind of shelf life and/or domestic dis/approval for yellow tights? will i even live past 2012? all things to consider here! but in the meantime, feel free to head to this lovely lady's blog, put your cheek in your palm, and sigh till your lungs fall out. because that's what i'll be doing? yeah, because that's what i'll be doing.

E

ugly betty is tearing up my heart, n'sync style, you guys!

2009-10-17T14:27:00.008-04:00

jiminy christmas, did anyone in the blogosphere watch last night's premiere of ugly betty season 4?! wait, what? people had lives and were actually out of their houses and hanging with friends and not trying to delay cold death on the living room sofa just a few moments longer and find something to occupy their dusty old mindprunes after degrassi went off and basically just shouting non-sequiturs to their wall, like "THAT IS FUCKED UP!" and "THIS OVEN COOKED PIZZA IS SO GOOD! IT REALLY ISN'T DELIVERY!" no? really? oh, well, then i may be in this ugly betty tizzy by myself. "um, good sir, may i have a TV-induced tizzy for one, please?" "yes, why yes you may. have fun dying alone." "thank you, sir!"

BASICALLY betty got a new job working as the associate features editor and she's over the fucking moon about it (who wouldn't be?! besides someone who got demoted but we don't even have TIME for demotions in the fashion industry! too busy trying to force body images on young girls and make sure those yards of crinoline come in! spring/summer '10 is gonna be SO BIG on crinoline, you guys. maybe.) and she's dealing with the new scenario of working for her ex-boyfriend matt who made a total cunt move and took the job to be her boss once she punched him in the heart with a bulldozer glove (not a real thing, but i am actively seeking a backer to make it HAPPEN!), not to mention we've got this new thing with justin, everyone's favorite teenager, just entering high school. plus christina's gone, daniel's grieving over dead wife ashes, wilhelmina is sheltering her murderous daughter nico (ps omg YAYA from TOP MODEL?! pinch me until i die please!!), trying to find connor for some good, old fashioned extortion (american values, left and right, y'all) and STILL trying to take over mode. WHOO! busy bees up in this hive this season! and that's just the tip of the fucking honey pot!

instead of going further into the episode, which you can watch in full HERE, can i just say how much i supremely love and identify with this season? the whole feeling of being super excited about something you've been trying to do forever and finally achieved and then feeling like you don't even fit in with that crowd which simultaneously crushes your dream bubble and makes you work harder so you can justify singing "survivor" by destiny's child at karaoke, and having to come in daily contact with a person you cared for and accidentally screwed up with that is repeatedly ignoring you and immaturely fucking you over constantly? and being bullied in high school because you're different and no one likes change and you really ARE that kid with the bright pink gucci shirt eating alone in the lunch room because the bathroom stalls are rank and you can't have food in the library and then feeling like you can only talk about it to someone who isn't your parent and your parent is pissy mcangrypants that you didn't come to them? and you feel stuck in the middle while also trying to navigate your own fucked up adolescent issues? and missing someone that was taken from your life way too soon and lashing out by alternating between anger and tears? can i just say i identify with all of that and so this season excites me just a tad bit more than the prospect of getting laid? JUST A TAD?

whatevs. i'm stoked. if you didn't catch it last night, i suggest you watch it! tears won't cry themselves and hearts don't warm automatically! well, maybe if they were robot hearts, but i would need some proof of you being a robot. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

E

bodily organs should not be used as tissues, but i get the feeling that is what you want me to do!

2009-09-24T18:24:00.004-04:00

above you is the trailer for the new-ish (in america, at least) movie, paris, which i saw last friday and nearly died from. you know how the english thought of love, actually and then america was like, "man, i gotta get all up in that action!" and made something sort of resembling love, actually and i forget the title of it and NO I WON'T look it up because you didn't come here for the acute accuracy of or hard-hitting facts. i know you came here because i promised you candy, and you will get it, don't worry, but for now just hear me out over here.

so anyway america wanted a love, actually but little did they know france was so far ahead of them, they couldn't even see them. because paris is basically france's love, actually (which i am going to stop saying now because my quota has been filled, i can collect my check, and go spend it on a few slices of pizza and a large rootbeer to cry into), only it's a little less cheesy (as if france's version of "cheesy" would be at all like the velveeta tinted nonsense we've come to know in america. velveeta tinted, i tell you!) and way more sad.

should i set up the plot for you? now, don't look so wary, i'll be gentle. take your hands off your eyes. stop being a baby.

so basically you have this guy, pierre, who was a great dancer a few years back, in the chorus lines and stuff, whatever france's broadway is. then he gets sick and the doctors diagnose with him a fatal heart condition and that is very *sobsob* sad because it means his body will weaken and then no more dancing! send in the clowns! cake's out in the rain! etc etc! muy depressing.

he tells his sister elise, played by juliette binoche (who is basically like a golden calf to whose feet i fall and whisper "i'm not worthy, i'm not worthy" in a totally wayne and garth-esque tone) is like, "dude, i'm gonna help you." he's like, "girrrrrrl please don't"and she's like, "nuh uh, mon frere. deeds is DONE." so she moves in and stays with him and she's working her job and being the mother of three kids (she's divorced from her husband) and having a little crushy-crush on the guy that works at the market (because who wouldn't love a guy who could hook you up with free lychees and say the lettuce heads looked ugly like you when you turned down their offer for a date?! WHO WOULDN'T?!)

pierre lives across the street from laetitia, who's in school studying french art and history and who's also BANGIN' (if i may be so crass, because f'reals, homegirl has it going on) and he develops a crush on her but she's basically a lemon tart and has a boyfriend while she's leading on her professor roland, who is looking so crazy in love, beyonce style and is verily crushed when he finds out miss cheater is, well, cheating on him. even after he dances to little richard in front of her. she clearly doesn't understand the balls it takes to do that, but whatever! she can go run off with the annoying good looking guy with the polo sweater! that is what you do!

there are also a ton of other players in this that have their own intertwining stories and basically the whole thing is so, so, so, so good and no dramatic musical numbers occur, which is great for me because musicals make me break out in a rash like i just got drunk and slept with poison ivy. plus the soundtrack is beautiful. lots of soft, classical jams that make you tear up and weep into your hot popcorn, which adds a ton of small hissing, popping noises to the wonderful music. you're like giving it a backup track. YOU'RE WELCOME, MUSIC.

and the whole thing is so lovely and this tale of a sick, kind man in love with life and the world and love is so heartfelt and touching that by the end of it, i was basically soaking in my own salty tears and sadness and hope. it was a weird combination and i had to wash all my clothes when it was over. fucking french movies! it basically ripped out my heart and used it for its paint by numbers kit. you know what movie? i hope the purplish blue looks good on the paper. because it looked great in my heart!

E

home is where the booze is

2009-08-29T21:39:00.003-04:00

holy balls dudes and dudettes! i've been slacking hardcore over here. and for that i apologize. the internet is serious business and deserves to be treated with respect. the internet's a regular aretha franklin. MOVING ON, it turns out this past monday, august 22nd marks my one year anniversary of the day i rolled into this glittery, smog filled bat cave called LA. and it's pretty exciting, because it means i'm not dead and have survived this screwed up snowglobe-like city. which is a yay! moment. small accomplishments, people. i won't even get into the myriad of too-cool-por-school things i've gotten to do since moving here because why bother and i'm lazy.

so that's about it. it's quite exciting, and i will probably hang around this place for three or four more years and get into shit loads of stupid trouble, wear shitty clothes, and remain steadfast in my mission to convince everyone in los angeles that the cosby show is one of the best shows ever. CONSTANT VIGILANCE you guys. but who knows what kind of wacky things i'll end up doing around here? this place is like a carnival with lots of roads but no places to get a proper funnel cake (the world's most elusive outdoor event dessert).

so, hey, let's put some TI on and grab a few slices of pie, because it's about time we start having fun! (oh man i hope no one notices that i had no idea how to end this)

E

why am i not dead yet?!

2009-06-27T20:37:00.003-04:00

so. another year. one more step on the staircase of death. one more floor in the elevator of my own demise. just kidding! i'm actually excited to be one year older! it means i'm doing something right because i'm still alive! in your face everybody who wishes i was dead. (probably no one, but maybe everyone, and you've got to put it in someone's face, right? correct.) but you guys aren't here for the self-reflection and the navel gazing, you're here for the CAKE!

well you can't have any! because this is the internet. and you can't eat anything off it. YET.

until the future becomes a reality, let's take a look back on all that's happened to me last year. LOAD UP THE SLIDESHOW MICKEY. settle in.

since my last birthday, i've moved to LA, worked at a dry cleaner's, been to fashion parties, met internet famous LA'ers, met a cool gal named V, gotten blackout drunk in front of adults and children (and then somehow managed to vomit on my bangs? how does that happen?), started blogging for missbehave, watched the inevitable and sadly unstoppable undoing of missbehave, became friends/lived with sarah morrison and olivia allin (whom i love), met my awesome new best friend jasmine, gotten to see tim and eric live and it's always sunny in philadelphia presents: the nightman cometh, eaten truckloads of tacos, gotten to see amazing indie movies, gone to the coolest shows (seriously i never thought i would ever get to see animal collective, white rabbits, asobi seksu, and camera obscura live. never ever ever), started writing for buzzine, and pretty much gotten to live it up. i honestly never thought my life would be this amazing and that it would all come so fast, but that's LA for you, i guess.

(sidenote: shoutout to everyone that's held out their hand to me and help me cross the proverbial street this year: sarah, meghan, lillian, sam, and sydney jane. if it wasn't for all of you i maybe would be dead. if not dead on the outside i'd be dead on the inside. wahhh, the emo! not really, but you guys have all helped me way more than you know. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU.)

LA is pretty cool and while i probably can't see myself living here for the rest of my life, i do see myself settling down here for quite a while. maybe i'll get a coldwater flat in that cool little space between echo park and downtown. maybe probably! i could be maybe dead by then!

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! i'm not dead and that's cool! i hopefully won't be dead for a bit so good morning, and in case i don't see you, good afternoon, and goodnight.

E

(ps: the above is a picture of my mom's dog wearing my glasses. i'm a photographer. it's deep. hire me.)

i've made a grave mistake

2009-06-23T23:57:00.004-04:00

above these words is the trailer for irene in time, the movie i ACCIDENTALLY INADVERTENTLY saw today as a result of me walking into the wrong theatre at the movies. it was the worst thing i've ever accidentally done on a tuesday ever, in my whole life. except for the accident i almost got into about 45 min prior. FORGET THE MINOR DETAILS. LET'S MAKE A CASE!

okay so basically this movie is about irene who's sad because her dad got in a boat and sailed away to boat heaven (OR SO THEY HAVE US THINK!!!) when she was little and now she can't date because she's trying to find a man like her dad. okay god/world. i didn't have a dad growing up. is this cosmic synergy trying to tell me something? fine. i'm in the theatre and i'm stuck because my desired feature started twenty minutes ago. I'M LISTENING. TELL ME YOUR STORY.

so irene thinks she has to follow dating rules and whatnot to get a guy. she has tons of books. she reads them in the pool. they don't seem to work for her. CUT TO scene of her with "current" boyfriend. they're in her room and she's eating food off his plate and chewing loudly and is generally annoying. he leaves. SURPRISE! but it's not because she eats like a cow chewing gum and is loud, it's because HE'S not right for her. the rules, you guys! the rules ain't working! oh noeeessss!

also she's a singer. she sings these awful songs that were originally written by the lady who did the soundtrack. they sound like the end result of setting a jukebox from 1983 on super easy listening. one song is about finding love in starbucks. can't have that kind of crosspromotion, irene! i see all too easily what you did there! (sidenote: there's also a scene where she's sitting next to a table with a pink can of Tab on it. nostaligic crosspromotion! for the record i no longer drink Tab. i have graduated to just getting wasted every night. i am an adult and these are my words!)

so where were we? ahhh yes. so she meets this guy. well, "meets" is a loose term because he is her producer. he is also 'roided out of his mind and sorta looks like he could benchpress me or whatever. he scares me. and i want him to cut his hair and stop looking at everyone like they're his next meal. but irene likes him and that's what's important. i'm here for her. all the best. RIGHT. she doesn't know she lurves him yet though, so she keeps dating.

she meets a guy who's nice but weird and says stupid one-liner type things like, "we will all laugh at gilded butterflies." not really. he is not that smart. not really either. she hates him and dumps him and then it's back to the bathrobe and the wine and the solitaire. THE SINGLE GIRL'S LIFE FORREAL Y'ALL.

this just in! her old ex is back in LA and wants to go to dinner with her. COOL! but he wants to double date. oh boy, what'll she do now? easy. get her lesbian friend to do her a solid! because that's what lesbians are here for! to go on dates with your ex's friends.

so on that date she and her ex go to the bar and talk, leaving the lesbian and dude sitting there. the dude decides she is who he was waiting for (of course!) and asks her out. this is maybe 20 minutes deep into the "date." she says, "you know i am into women. sorry." he kisses her and then she says, "no sir. i will not take your offer for which i would glady date a woman tomorrow." something like that. back to irene. her ex, who hasn't seen her for seis years wants to marry her. MOVIE OVER! not. because irene's a traditionalist and they haven't even seen each other for twenty minutes yet for god's sake! so she says no. sad panda.

CUT TO the roundtable of women in their over-thirties hanging around talking about their daddies. "my daddy was DA BEST. FOR SERIOUS. HE COULD HAVE BEAT YOUR DAD HARD IN A CORPORATE SOFTBALL GAME"..."my daddy was never around. i hate him"..."my dad was so aloof! ALOOOOOOOOOF! 'tis a word i learned today on the internet. it describes my dad perfectly!" it's so sad! it's like drivin' and cryin' but they're sitting in plastic white lawn chairs wearing bathrobes! it's so weird and uncomfy but i can't look away because a part of me wants to walk out of the theatre!

i almost did. but damnit, i paid my six dollars and bought a fucking drink! so i stayed.

so then they're all eating lunchdinner outside. everyone's there. all friends, all family. irene talks to her mom about her dad and her mom's like, "men suck. do it for yourself." irene is sadfaced. CUT TO the lesbian and her mom. she's finally coming out. her mom is shockedface. she's like, "how long have you known?" (because when the stork makes you gay he mails you a confirmation letter and then you KNOW you're gay) and the daughter's all like, "well i used to have crushes on girls but i dated guys and then you and dad made me all angsty and i dated girls." because lesbianism and homosexuality is a form of teenage rebellion! you guys, this is it! we've cracked the code. let's infiltrate the high schools already.

CUT TO one scene where irene and lesbian friend are hanging out with straight and lesbian friends. lesbian #1 is like, "irene kiss her!" lesbian #2 is all smiles. they kiss. because homosexuality is fun! it can be a big fun experiment! get more wine! let's try again! they keep going with other people. it's like girl's night out but no one's standing on the bar and they are in the living room. sadface.

also creepy producer guy is 'bout it, 'bout it with irene. they hang out and kiss and things are greeeat. so she's found a guy. mazeltov! she doesn't need those books anymore. so they have a book burning party because irene is secretly a communist. and she needs to make sure no one else gets those books ever. NO ONE. no one except the fire god, because she must appease him so that he doesn't rip her eyes out while she sleeps. so she sets those pages aflame! a part of me dies inside when this happens. it is still dead.

NOW they're going to move out of their huge villa (villa coola). irene lives in the guesthouse. she is like thirtybillion and living in the guesthouse. she's like will smith and carlton but not as cool because jazzy jeff never comes over. lord knows how many times she invites him. he, too, is ALOOOOOOF! anyway, moving party. enter irene's BRITISH MOTHER WEARING A PINK CHENILLE THROW! because she is old and british. and irene is american! hmmmmm....

in her bedroom, irene is just farting around and finds this hidden secret hatbox that she's somehow missed seeing for fifteen some-odd years. in it are all these pictures. and a leather jacket, so she can look badass. oh, it isn't so she can look badass? pointless, then! the pictures are of this woman who is oldish and brunette and thin looking. irene must find her.

and find her she does. at the catalina jazz club, where all your dreams come true. she introduces herself and blahblahblah it turns out her father knew that lady. she gives her a russian doll set. irene's like, "cool, but what is this?" she's like, "for srs dood? you don't know what this is?" she's like, "okay byeeeee." END SCENE.

then we dig rull rull deep and it turns out the singer lady is irene's real mom. this still doesn't explain why irene is a REDHEAD. i don't believe she's related to anyone. nope. so everyone's sadfaced but then irene's like, "it's whatever i don't care who my mom is. i gotta be finding my papa!" so she opens the russian dolls. the last two are taped. say what (karoake)? it's because there's a message in them. the msg says, go to the sea or whatever! so she does!

and she begins to walk into the ocean and then all of a sudden i'm like, "is she gonna go straight into the ocean? is she gonna die?" i was on the fucking edge of my seat with excitement you people. but she did not die. she found her father who had just been sailin' around for like twenty years. ain't no thang.

OH ALSO the producer guy is married and with child. he left irene and broke the news to her at the airport. because he is an asshole and he's got to get home to benchpress his wife and child.

i hated that movie.

E

bup bup bup!

2009-04-27T18:46:00.006-04:00

(that shirt is only 33.00! it used to be 110.00 dudes!)

i can see you all are clearly busy moving about your daily lives and whatnot but if i could have your attention for ONE SECOND please? thank you!

karmaloop is having yet another MAYJAHH sale you guys. por serio. 50-85% off. it's a little bit ridiculous, actually. RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. i was just trolling it, y'know adding shit i can't afford to buy to my cart so i could look at it a little longer before the BILLSBILLSBILLS (can you pay my?) called me away and my bank account shut down my dreams.

(it's actually a bit depressing because the glasses i paid 16.00 for - on sale - are now 4.75 on sale. relativity, people, relativity.)

but you guys look like you have some money! head over to k-loop and shop your streetwear loving hearts out. but do it soon because this sale only lasts for another two days. so, till wednesday. i mean it guys, DO IT. and if you haven't gotten this princess of the posse top by now (um, what?!), you can get it on the mad cheap.

now you have your mission. by reading this post in its entirety, you have chosen to accept it. go forth, be free, and buy america!

E

in which TV is clearly out to destroy my heart and soul.

2009-04-25T01:08:00.008-04:00

(photo via mtv.com or whatevskis)

you guys can i be real for a second?

i love TV. like i fucking love it. if there was a way for an electronic device/digital cable stream and a woman to be joined together in holy matrimony, i would've swam into the pacific and climbed onto that boat a long time ago.

but why does everything i love have to hurt me in return? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS? THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU!

this is probs my fault (that's okay TV...it was never you...it was always me, i know it) because i threw myself into the big masochistic pit of fire also known as watching MTV so in turn i suppose i brought this on myself. i MADE myself watch college life and the phone. i did this.

basically college life is this dipshit - sorry, innovative and compelling, TV show wherein some college freshmen are followed by cameras at ALL times and they talk and sob and wear school hoodies and apparently all attend some kind of prison style college deep in madison, WI. basically i can't stand it because i live(d) it. not to mention MTV just ripped ITSELF off. i wasn't in college back then, but i distinctly remember loving (despite the almost tangible shitty qualities those shows emitted from my TV screen) sorority life and fraternity life. so good going there MTV. you beat yourself to your own original concept like five years ago.

let me synopsize this fucksenserey for you. there are a handful of kids involved but you only need to know about two:

alex: she is 19. she is a bonerkill. this girl is like one walking livejournal entry and all the entry tags are FML. she's like "waaaaah waaaah boys won't put their penises in my vagina! i have no hope with dudes for the rest of my life! the boy i like didn't text me after we watched one tree hill together waaaahhhh even after i put an 'i like you. check yes or no' note in his locker!!! wahhh!!!" okay i know colleges don't have lockers but you see where i am going with this. essentially she is what i am slowly but surely becoming.

no one said i was proud of it you guys. no one.

and then you have kevin. he is everyone's bro-dude. if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll like ask you for milk or something (don't really remember) but if you give kevin a few hours, he'll make you a party. like a mysterious and magical little keebler elf whose medium is hard liquor and red plastic cups. he is that guy that you will want to punch repeatedly in the face sober, but who's meaty arm you will more than gladly cling to when blackout drunk. (you will probably say "more, more, more! and tell me that one story of how you once sucker punched your seven year old neighbor when he took your frisbee! holy shit did you just pull that red cup from behind my ear?! i love you because you're magic! pour me more sam adams!) i imagine the following things go through his head on an hourly basis:

"tits! i hate math! this baseball caps is too tight! tits! ass! i love college! asher roth! i love drinking! i love women! miller lite! beer pong! man, i really appreciate how hard my parents worked so that i could go to school despite the poor grades i achieved in high...whoops! TITS! ASS! DRINKINGSMOKINGSEXCOLLEGE!"

college life is an epic fail of a television show. you guys at MTV want drama? you should have let me film my dorm experience. bitches were threatning to pee on my washcloths and get their sisters to beat me up. because of loofahs and thermostats!!!! there was some diddy approved dramz going down dudes. did i get a show? no. does that leave me feeling bitter? no... does that make me not want to watch this one? YESYESYES.

i was also going to talk about the phone (ay dios mio) but because i have spent so much time ranting about this fuckery, i will just leave it with this equation i have created (in my opinion) perfectly summarizing what you've got here:

mtv's the phone: phonebooth + eagle eye + M.I. - colin farrell - being interesting + money + teenagers.

there's some cloverfield style filming and mildly (like, mild salsa mild) intense and dramz music thrown in for good measure.

TV WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS. GET IT TOGETHER. IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE. WE CAN WORK IT OUT. but the sadfaced kids, fleshbeards, gripping reality television, and all other no-noes must GO.

E

my momz is bring the dramz

2009-04-19T22:03:00.004-04:00

so it is OH-FISH-IYAL. my mom is en route to california, where she will live permanently and be annoying and get all in my face about every little thing imaginable and drive me even more batshit craze than i already am. i WISH i was one of those people who have awesomesauce relationships with their mothers and can phone them up and talk about anything and maybe enjoy a glass of wine together and laugh and share and hold hands and buttercups buttercups buttercups. but i don't.

i'm not entirely dreading having my mom here (since she lived in LA way back in the day but also forever so she can help me out when and if i get lost on the mean streets and she can take care of me on days when i feel sick instead of me just dragging all my blankets and pillows in front of the television and drinking sprite until i throw up and feel better) but i really liked that she was on the other end of the country. i could do whatever whenever however and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it if she wanted to. this whole "over the phone" parenting method was really working out for me.

this whole situation is grrrrr inducing at times and i won't lie, sometimes i seriously debate over whether i should have stayed in atlanta. yeah, i really do. but whatever. it's too late to do anything except grab my board and ride this wave out. plus t-minus one month (por serio hoping) until i'm out the valley and in the big city. this move is going to happen and my moms coming is a big motivator.

so basically now i'm consolidating my shit to make this move is smooth, easy, and QUICKQUICKQUICK as possible and my life is in such a topsy turvy state right now that i don't even know where to start.

E

l-o-v-e is a four letter word.

2009-04-15T02:01:00.003-04:00

dear diary,

i met a beautiful, incredible, wondermazing boy. his name is delocated. he stays up really late on sundays and always makes me laugh. he's brilliant. he is sophisticated enough for nat shermans but down to earth enough for cheap beer in a dirty bar. we hang out every weekend and one of these days i am going to let him touch me in my warm places. seriously, diary. i think i will marry him. when he's not in my life, things are all wrong. and i break out tons. i think it's from the stress of not having him. but when he's back, it's like the world is perfect again, diary. perfect. he's it for me.

i love you so much diary don't ever tell my secrets!

me

wondermazingment

2009-04-13T02:30:00.003-04:00

(img via the sartorialist)

holy hot hell on a sidewalk in the middle of july in an arizona desert somebody get me those shoes. i think the toes are carved into the shapes of hearts? sweetjesus on high, toss me the respirator because it just got TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL up in here. i am betting those shoes have a chunky heel, which is perfecto, and the fact that they have an ankle strap makes me want to put on lacy white tights, a watermelon colored minidress, and dance in the moonlight a la king harvest on a crazy margarita bender. put it together. IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

also that skirt is high-fiving god with its epic awesomosity but really guys, really, i NEED THOSE SHOES. you know how t.i. wants your body? you know how he needs your body? you know as long as you got him you won't need nobody?

well that's how i feel about those shoes. all of that. and more. someone can go ahead and box them up for me, size 10, and fed-ex them right over to my lair aka my HQ. we serve cookies here. 24/7. they taste like angels' wings fluttering on your tastebuds. it all makes sense.

thanks in advance and i love you all like the sisters that weren't super bitchy to me in middle school.

E

"are you already drunk? wait, were you drunk when you got here?"

2009-04-11T00:09:00.003-04:00

soooo i got tagged by sarah to do this survey and so i guess i will now. i've never been good with introductions which is probably why 90% of LA has deemed me un-dateable. i will say though that it's nice to get back in the groove of talking to you guys. so what do we do now? hug? campfire stories? french braid each other's hair and chew gum? buy zimas and pretend it's 1999 again? i'm confused. whatevskis. oh also, i don't tag anyone else because i don't know anyone who would actually do this thing that hasn't already so i guess you guys can just read it and pray to your deity of choice that you don't live inside this mind o' mine.

What is your current obsession? food!
What are you wearing right now? burgundy leggings and my ex's van's hoodie
Who was the last person you hugged? my cool new friend sydney jane! she is bombawesome and she gave me a gift card to trader joes!
If you were a tree, what tree would you be? weeping willow. have you ever sat under one of those things? shade and coolness for DAYS.
What’s for dinner? pasta. again.
What was the last thing you bought? antibiotics
What are you listening to right now? "i don't wanna die" by the unicorns
What is your favourite weather? ummmm...the kind that is warm enough for shorts but cold enough for tights. make sense?
What’s on your beside table? my bedside is a stack of magazines. so there is an alarm clock, two pill bottles, and an empty soda can on my bedside stack of magazines.
Say something to the person/s who tagged you. sarah, you are amazing. v, we need to hang out soon! LA is severely missing our presence!
If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? italy.
Where are you typing from right now? my living room.
A book you're currently reading? to be someone by louise voss. sarah lent it to me.
What would you like to have in your hands right now? a lot of fucking money. and maybe chocolate. but somewhere cold. i don't really want it melting in my hands. who made these questions?
What is your favourite tea flavour? lemon
What did you eat for breakfast? a homemade chocolate chip waffle and three slices of pizza
What did you want to become as a child? private eye. i watched a lot of cop/detective shows when i was younger.
What is your fantasy? to own a cherry red keytar with a zebra print strap. oh yessss.

am i done? is that it? i can leave and you'll call me if you're interested? alright. bye.

E

cookies on dowels, mole men, and camp as far as the eye can see

2009-04-07T02:10:00.005-04:00

i am thisclose to just shutting this shit down and turning do it at the disco into WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU GUYS ADULT SWIM?! similar to my whyladygagawhy website. i enjoy common themes. have you checked out my art?

anywayssss i just want to talk things out. let's look at the current shows. alright family guy (cool, down with that), robot chicken (it's starting to brown at the edges but it still remains consistent, i will give it that), tim and eric: awesome show great job (NEVER EVER EVER GO AWAY. tim and eric are my spirit animals. seriously. the yin to my batshit yang), venture bros (i can deal with this show. i used to watch it back in the day when i could follow the storyline and things were looking UP!), and aqua teen hunger force (this show has been repeatedly making my nights hilarious and awesome since like 2005). so we've established that these things in the lineup are GOOD. smiley faces all over them. if this were a test paper, i'd be making it rain A pluses EVERYWHERE.

and let us not forget our fallen heroes! frisky dingo (the production company 70/30 closed it's doors early this year so no new frisky or sealab 2021 EVERS AGAINS! for anybody!), harvey birdman (i am soooo fucking serious when i say me and this show were destined to be together forever. like nobody's business i loved harvey birdman), and the oblongs (OG goodness for your SOUL), AND 12 oz mouse (seriously that chill mouse and that big eye made my 5ams time and time and time again). old shows, miss you like my childhood...

BUTTTT what is going on with these new shows? xavier: renegade angel? superjail? i hate to put the kibosh on your smiling sunshiney faces but i'm going to have to ask you to slip these into some padded manila envelopes and return to sender. someone told me these shows are for acid heads. that's a pretty sweet suggestion, but until someone can ship me some LSD i'm gonna need you guys to put these away. far away. into a lockbox maybe? lose the key.

and in the spirit of new shows, i wanna thank you guys for look around you. it's awesome. 100 percent grade A CAMP. i have a soft spot in my hearts for the late 70s/early 80s. you punched me right in my loving aortas with that show. (in that vein, can we maybe rethink putting saul of the mole men back on the air? the CAMP in that show fills my sweet spot everytime) i also want to props you up for delocated. the writing on that show is IMPECCABLE you guys. seriously. i want to give you all handjobs for it. i'm sorry, i meant to say, shake your hands. WITH MY MOUTH. whatever, i love that show. don't ever let it die like my pet fish in 7th grade. goldie hawn, noooo...

so whatevskis adult swim. basically i like what you're doing for the most part. but don't start slacking on your quality! you guys have been the reason i stay up till 1am when i have a 6am class for as long as i can remember. and choose to remember. i rep atl just for you guys. stay ill. holler at me when you want a witty contributor to contribute to, um, whatever witty people contribute to. you can pay me under the table, in single bills, action figures, and headshots of brendon smalls. our love is like that tarzan disney movie. you'll be in my heart, phil collins style. or maybe tom collins style. i haven't decided how many references i want to make in this post. i'll probably come out around however many make me sound knowledgeable, but not douchey. this is the internet, and i must never be douchey.

E

"the adorability level goes from mellow to insane in 60 seconds"

2009-03-31T19:40:00.003-04:00

hey what's up? how you been? how you gonna be? good on all accounts. nice.

the internet is a magical and wondrous place that lets you do amazing things like buy quail eggs and email the pope and sometimes it lets you do awesome things like stalk adorable dudes and sit at home making shrines to them and shout at the screen how much you want to have their babies and cook them grilled cheeses.

and SOMETIMES it lets you find out that people are preggersface. like jewels. because i am like the olsen twins detective agency of the interwebs (wonder twins, activate) , i had to do deep digging into this amazing revelation.

basically she is pregnant and her baby will be awesome. like MIA's baby, but from new york, so more legit. congrats, jewels! on your baby and your new boobs and months of people giving up their seat on the subway!

sooooo...around here things are just bro as shit, minus the bros. i've been partying and hanging around in chinatown (not really but it rhymes) and totally neglecting that big thing in my life called COLLEGE so i guess i should get back to that. in the immortal words of christine, the old missbehave intern, "it's not a good look."

oh also you can apply to be my bro, if you want. i've been looking to incorporate some new blood/fresh meat into my posse. i'm totally legit and i rock hard and roll hard and do epic shit on a daily basis and my favorite restaurant is mcdonalds.

AND DID I TELL YOU MY FRIEND GOT A SKATEBOARD? yeah she totally did. i'm gonna make her teach me how to ride the concrete wave in exchange for marking her present every day she's absent in our music in film class.

dope. bomb. sweet. check you guys on the sunny side.

E

It Is So On, You Guys

2009-03-25T01:00:00.002-04:00

What the fuck is up everybody? I haven't been here in yerrrrs. So this is gonna sound totally infomercial-licious but I wanna talk to you guys about something pretty bitching. So the amazing all around mega woman Meghan and her co-pilots on EpicLady Air are walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day! I know you guys are stoked on this. Contain your squeals of delight. This ain't Christmas.

But it can be just like it! Their team, Cancer Schmancer (seriously? what deity gave them the ability to come up this brilliance?!) is trying to raise money and THEY NEED YOU! Por serio, any and every bit helps! And this money is totally legit. You're not giving this to someone in Cote D'Ivore who needs to you to transfer 50,000.00 into a domestic bank account and all that blahblahblah. You're giving hard earned money to hard working ladies! I did! Feels good!

So get the fuck on it! You can give money here. Sorry, that's a typo. That sentence should read, You give money here.

Woohoo no cankles no sprains no pain just gain!

E

I Got 911 On Speed Dial 'Cause I'm Killing It On A Daily Basis

2009-03-04T15:03:00.004-05:00

(picture blatantly stolen from savagesunshine. all use of sarah morrison is uncopyrighted and in the hopes she won't kill me for using this picture)

Lalala life is good. It could be worse. It isn't great. But it's good and that makes me happy. Tralala! Yesterday was my last day of therapy. It was awesome. It's like, unbelievable to think about all the progress and change I've made in the five months I've been in it. I feel like I can handle anything. Booyah!

Also, my friends are awesome. I love them. I love my real life friends Sarah and Emma and Sarah and Olivia and Sam. And I love my internet friends unicornfandance and calcium and dizzydance and scaramouche and itsamystery and eventhis (dude, if you're not on tumblr you're totally not even gonna get this). Oh and my blawg friends Jewels and Randi and Dinah and Amaris and so on a so forth.

Basically I love everybody! I can love you too, if you want. It's free, unless you want fame too. Fame has a price, and right here is where you start paying. Or something like that.

ANYWAYS, I am still trying to get all the money together to get into a studio apt closer to the city. People get poorer and things get more expensive. So I'm assuming I might actually get into the city when I'm 40...if I'm lucky. It's good to have a dream. So I hear.

So yup, I love everyone and things are fun lalala I'm going to learn to sew clothes because I don't go shopping anymore and I have this dream to basically have the wardrobe of a few certain amazing Skins characters (Naomi, Emily, Pandora).

Oh and if you want to reach me, you can do so through my Tumblr. I'm really there ALL the time. My IRL friends can attest to that. And I'm funnier. In case you didn't think that was possible.

And also thank you to LiLu for sending me that Planet Unicorn link. It did make my day, in the way only a gay unicorn is capable of. And also I cannot wait until V puts up the last of those party pictures because I look extremely good and since I can't really remember what happened, I'm hoping those pics will jog said memory.

2009 is kicking it SO HARD, no?

E

Go Hard Or Go Home. I Haven't Been Home Since Birth

2009-02-23T02:53:00.004-05:00

(did i mention i love unicorns? no? oh, well i do.)

Ughhh. I wish I could emit an audible sigh over the internet. No wait, nevermind. That kind of sounds like I want to fart over the internet. I don't btw. So you know. But I'm just a little sad. Sarah and Olivia are gone and I really miss them. It was nice to come home to someone saying "hey." And it was nice not to watch TV alone. And to hang out with people who didn't make fun of me or get irritated at me for literally parking myself in front of my laptop and not moving. And I'm gonna miss those Sundays when Sarah would be hungover and drag her pillow and blanket into the living room and sleep the whole day and then wake up at like 8:30pm and just start watching TV and eating. And Olivia's cooking, because it was amazing and she was super nice about the mac & cheese I made (even though I thought it was gross) and she taught me how to eat an artichoke, which tastes weirdgood and requires butter so you know I'm down.

Basically without them here it's just empty silence. I shout at the TV during Tyra and no one laughs. I buy cupcakes and no one goes "Yay!" When I come downstairs no one's fallen alseep in front of the TV. There are no five cheese pizzas in the freezer and no backpack full of cooking supplies in the pantry.

Plus I have been having a few issues in my personal life. Basically, to say I'm ready to get back into dating would be an understatement. Like, soon, really. Throwing all my energy into those skateboarders I see outside in between class isn't doing me any good. Then again, staring them down until they look at me and then looking away probably isn't the best way to go about it.

In any case, I'm fucking tired of being a doormat and a pussy. It's just a bummer that I'm so good at it.

E

Stay Strong In The Face Of Lil Mama, Girl

2009-02-17T01:19:00.003-05:00

(hell yeah gifparty!)
Sooooo, in case you didn't know (which would mean you weren't either of the Sarahs in my life - Fondypoo and Morrison), I started writing for an online magazine last week. I was hesitant to divulge all deets since I am now actually representing a company blah blah blah but the internet has always been and will always be my home, so excuse me while I take off my shoes, light a cigarette, grab a can of Snapple, and get comfy.

My first assignment was to review the new Asobi Seksu album, which is thebomb.com, btw. The album drops tomrrow in case you're feeling inclined to pick it up, but in the meantime, allow me to redirect you to the worldwideweb where my article is posted and sitting happily amongst its peers. I'm not gonna lie, I'm fucking excited. I almost jizzed in my pants when I saw it this morning while greedily refreshing my browser, and I called my mom and texted my exbf and then got a text from Sarah F congratulating me, which totally warmed my heart because at the time I was walking in a shitstorm of rain, getting completely soaked (despite the umbrella over my head), and generally looking sadfaced and sobbing loudly.

So yup yup you can read the article here and then send me countless messages about how much you love me, how good of a writer I am, how badly you want to send me monies so I can get a studio apt, how much you want me to be your girlfriend (available!) and so on and so forth.

And might I add that you should listen to The Lonely Island's CD, Incredibad? It's EPIC. Hint: if you liked "Jizz in My Pants" and "I'm on a Boat" then you will probably ENJOY this shit out of this album. Like me. Maybe we can enjoy it together (still available!) over pizza and cookie cake?

Word.

E

Turn Into A Jet (Like A Boss)

2009-02-15T19:20:00.004-05:00

(via)

Things have been craze around here y'all. And when I say craze, I mean, eh, mildly worth mentioning, which is craze since it's more than normally happens. Sarah's still here, being awesome, and Olivia moved into a really cute house in LA, which Sarah will go to, one day, probably when I stop making her waffles for breakfast and tortilla strips when she's hungover. So, never. But when Sarah leaves it will officially mean things over here are back to normal, which is kinda sad, because the two of them being here was the most fun I've had in my six months of living in LA. I'm going to miss them. And probably get them a housewarming gift. I have an idea, but MDMA is pretty expensive, so I guess I'll just be making them ordinary brownies. Oh well.

How was everyone's Valentine's day? Sarah and I watched Bridget Jones' Diary and fell asleep on the floor. But the Friday before was fun. Sarah and Olivia and I got drunk and watched Bring It On: All Or Nothing and then I got some cake and then we walked to the liquor store but all I really remember is spilling my drinks a lot and falling and then telling them my plan to get acid with Sarah (the Fonder of the two) and going to Venice and painting with watercolors and then someone said, "Watercolors?!" but I'm not sure if that was a dream or not. Either way, fun.

On the subject of my love life (or lack thereof), I've been attempting to win over the hearts of the scruffy skateboarders on campus, but it's been generally unsucessful. I should perhaps think of better ways to get them to notice me other than staring at them nonstop from across the hall and then greedily eyeing their bags of Taco Bell. But that's just unfair because I don't have the energy to walk to TB. Of course if I had a skateboard I would go there! If I had a skateboard I could make all my transpo dreams come true.

This new Lily Allen album is also completely blowing my mind. Sarah (the Fondest one, again) gave me a copy of it two days ago (she got it on presale because she's so clever) and I've already listened to it four times. I've also put on "The Fear" and cleaned my kitchen while jumping and bouncing around like a crack addict, but be thankful you weren't there to witness that firsthand.

But that's basically it. My life is finally picking up and heading in the direction I envisioned and I'm almost a little proud that it only took 6 months in one of the toughest cities in the US for it to happen. The year is finally starting off for me and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fucking stoked for it. Things still bum me out, get me down, and defeat me. I still stand in front of my kitchen window smoking a cigarette and crying, and I still look to others for strength sometimes, but I also laugh more and love more and live more and that makes it all worth it. I've taken a lot of risks, made a lot of mistakes, and (hopefully) learned from all of them. I'm going to continue to work hard and play harder and if you wanna employ me, I'm a bomb ass employee. I know a lot about a little, but I like to learn and I have a fabulous work wardrobe. Really. I impress myself sometimes. Did I mention I need a job? Just checking.

E

Everything's Better With Porno!

2009-02-08T04:38:00.008-05:00

Soooo...as sadcute as it is to admit, I didn't have anything better to do tonight than go see a movie by myself. It was either that or sit home eating those fancypants Stouffer's TV dinners that I bought on sale from Ralph's 10 for 10.00, but those were just glorified Kid Cuisines (remember those? My epic domestic fail mawm basically fed those to me at least three times a week during mid to late childhood), so I chose the former option.

I went to the theatre and after a brief scuffle with a man with a super intense stutter and overflowing amounts of pedo-creepiness (for surrious sir, I don't want a boyfriend on the side and even if I'm lying by saying I'm still in high school, you shouldn't be hitting on me) I sat down to watch this lovely piece of cinema entitled Serbis with the other eight people in the theatre.

I'm not gonna sit here and be like, "Ooooh, it made you think and it was soooo arthouse and good and even though you're not gonna get it, you, like, get it, man. You just get it." Because you won't and it isn't and I didn't and two hours later, I still don't know what I saw. Plus it had subtitles. And the sneak-uppy kind that don't hit you until three scenes into the movie when everyone stops speaking English and starts speaking this English/Spanish/Filipino hybrid and the subtitles kick in.

Um, basically it's about this family that lives in this huge theatre where they also, oh, you know, just happen to show pornos. Pretty run of the mill. All the gays come to the theatre and then sell their bodies (totally just thought of that to the tune of Mariah's "Touch My Body") and so while the movie's running, everyone's pretty much sucking dick for dollars or pesos or chocolate coins or whatever the currency in the movie is (I'm not really sure) and then a goat turns up and then a girl gets pregnant (this is not a spoiler) and trannies give "strutting" lessons. The house is pretty cool though, really big and ornate with a fuckload of stairs. I mean seriously, by now I would think someone might have looked into putting in an elevator or an escalator, but, you know.

Oh and people are naked a lot and there's a non-porno sex scene which is hot in a strange way (kind of like how really fucked up porn still turns you on even though you tilt your head and squint to look at it) and I guess this movie is fantastic if you really feel like bumming around in a theatre for an hour and forty-five minutes and have a friend to talk through throughout the whole thing, because really, you could tune in at any given time and have the same amount of back-knowledge.

If all else fails and my deeply introspective and incredibly riveting review of this feature didn't satiate your needs, here's the trailer. And if that doesn't help, then get the fuck outta my face, because you're probably hopeless and have no business watching movies or reading about them.

E

Ridiculous In The Very Best Way

2009-02-01T04:56:00.009-05:00

So Sarah Morrison moved in last Thursday. I knew it was going to be a big change from me just chilling around, doing nothing, by myself, watching 15 hours of TV a day and binge eating tortilla chips, but I don't think I realized it was going to be this fun.

When she pulled up in the parking space next to mine, I ran out to greet her. We said our "hey's" and she proceeded to start throwing clothing out of her truck. Just the essentials, though: a jacket, a pair of boots, some bras...then she started talking to me. Her words were literally coming out of her mouth at the rate of 30 words per second, at least. That's when I knew this was going to be really awesome.

I grabbed the groceries, she grabbed the clothes, and we went inside. I gave her a tour and she caught me up with everything that had been going on in New York. Most people have probably seen Sarah's videos on Missbehave and whatnot, but I don't think many people know that she literally goes a mile a minute when she talks. She's bouncing around and gesturing and being totally animated. So Friday we basically hung around the house all day on the internet. (Thank gawd there's someone else who can basically survive on internet and TV!)

After watching the most ridiculous episodes of Tyra to date, we decided we were hungry. Somehow the Cheesecake Factory was designated as the place to eat. We Googled the address and were on our way. After some driving, we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere. There were DEER CROSSING signs. (Didn't know deer lived in SoCal, btw)

It turns out we weren't heading to the Cheesecake Factory, we were going to their CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS. Apparently Google thought it would be funny to take us there. And it did, twice. I said that we should write a review of this online.

"We should write that it's the worst restaurant we've ever eaten at!"

We finally made it though, but were completely stuffed after eating the fried macaroni & cheese balls (which were heaven, btw), so I got my calamari and my cheesecake and she got her salad and her cake to go, which meant we had to interface with our scarily peppy waitress a million times. Her laugh was this really awful forced one and she kept trying to relate with us by making jokes and being all "hey girl hey." But I can't really knock the hustle.

So here I am, at 2:15 am on Saturday/Sunday, still trying to get through this slice of cheesecake (which I totally changed Sarah's mind about. She doesn't think it's terrible anymore. Well not the choco chip cookie dough flavored kind anyway.) and listening to the Shangri-Las with the TV on MUTE while Sarah's somewhere in downtown LA working the door at some afterhours party.

I kinda have a feeling there's just going to be one crazy story after another over here now. Oh, and in case you still didn't know (are you sure you have the internet?) I'm on Tumblr 24/7 and Sarah (of Lolita fame) is too. The other Sarah (of Morrison fame) has her own blog, and it's awesomly funny and a perfect distraction for the work I should/n't be doing for my journalism class.

And, well, that's it.

E

Thursday Is Party Day

2009-01-25T05:35:00.005-05:00

I happen to really j'adore Asobi Seksu. They remind me of summer romances, long nights up with best friends, drunken skinny-dipping at the beach, accidentally letting go of a balloon and then watching it float up into the air, impromptu picnics, spending time with the one person in the world who gets you, sheer dresses, bare feet, and wet earth, and getting caught in the rain.

That being said, "Thursday" is probably my favorite Asobi Seksu song, aside from "Walk on the Moon," "Mizu Asobi," and "Nefi+Girly" which is the song they used for all those Skins trailers. It's so ethereally, heavily, softly gorgeous. And makes me long for summer. I mean, what the fuck LA? It's been cold and rainy for the past week. Let's get back to normal soon, shall we?

Anyways, here's the video for "Thursday." Also, if you're looking for someone to spend the night with on Valentine's day, just show up at my house with this song playing out of your boombox, a six pack of Sweetwater 420 ale, and a pizza and I'm yours.

E

If You Wanna Date A Rockstar, You Better Get Used To Falling Off The Stage

2009-01-23T22:57:00.004-05:00

Hey internet. Long time no see. Oh what's that? I know, I've missed you too. Yeah, I know. I'll try to be a better friend. You wanna come over and watch American Idol with me next week? Yeah, you can bring some wine. Sure, you can sit in the LaZboy this time. No, I don't mind the floor. Honest.

I wish I could say I say I've been up to some crazy and wiiillld antics and adventures since I last talked to y'all. But I haven't. I started school again and I have a wicked Music In Film class wherein we watch assorted scenes from movies and then discuss the uses of music in them. It's pretty awesome.

Speaking of movies, since I have Showtime, I have been watching some amazing ones, like 10 Items or Less with Paz Vega (luff her) which was spectacular, and Love and Other Disasters with Catherine Tate and Brittany Murphy (in which she tries to be an American with a slight British accent - that's sorta weird), which is totally adorable and cheerful.

I also got my oven/stove fixed. It wasn't turning on or working and I couldn't make brownies! (ohhh noooess) The maintenance man came and looked at it and I expected him to say something dire like it needed to be replaced, but it turns out the pilot wasn't on. So then I felt stupid. But once he left I popped those brownies in there!

And since I have my entire afternoons free after 1pm, I've been trekking over to Silverlake and thrift shopping for homewares. Last time I got a jar for my paintbrushes and some old French fashion mags from the 60s for only 2.00 each! And tomorrow I'm going to look for some furniture! Because I can't sleep in the livingroom forever. Eventually, I'll need a sofa or something. I guess.

I'm also being awesome in my spare time and plotting a hostile world takeover, planning a giant ska/punk warehouse party, trying to get a cat named Fred, and looking to get some acid. (Sarah and I are going to get some, paint our faces, and go trip at Venice Beach. One day...) Did I mention that part about the warehouse party? Really would love to make that happen.

I'll try to be back here as much as possible and in the mean time, my Tumblr is still totally available. As am I.

I'm not really sure what to do this Valentine's day since last year I was in a relationship and it was totally awesome and this year I'm single allz over again. Will someone come over so we can drink ourselves stupid and watch Bridget Jones' Diary?

E

What's Going On Jemina?

2009-01-19T19:01:00.003-05:00

Apparently Jemina Pearl is still going post byoP. And now she's got Karen O hair. I'm eternally jelz only because I always wanted to have Karen O hair. But I'm not sure what to say about Jemina. I'm mostly sad because I loved byoP and I want her hair and I'm not sure this whole thing is such a good idea.

Discuss.

O, J.

E

Love? Better. Something Like A Dream.

2009-01-19T18:10:00.005-05:00

So Lillian has this goal of trying 12 new vegetarian recipes. I think that's awesome. To kick it off, we're having a bi-coastal bake-off (Atlanta v LA, East v West) and we're making Mexican Hot Chocolate cupcakes. Divine, right?

Well, I'm not exactly a vegetarian, although I do happen to think tofu is delicious, but I think a goal to learn and try new recipes is fantastic. So I'm going to try to absorb as many recipes as possible this year. I've already got a few (tomato stew and Mexican chicken tortilla soup) under my belt, but I want to really build a repertoire. You know those ladies who need to make dinner and they pull out a recipe BOX? That's what I'm shooting for.

And then I thought, why don't I share them with y'all? That way everyone can get in on the fun, plus Lillian won't have to look too far for recipes! It'll be kinda like 100 days of recipes, but like, 336 days of recipes since we're already 19 days into the new year and I'm going to start tomorrow.

So, uh, get excited people! We're all going to be goddesses of the kitchen in no time!

E

Do You Really Want To Hold My Dirty Hands?

2009-01-18T02:08:00.003-05:00

World. I am so happy. I couldn't be happier. Well, maybe if I was rich and had a nicer car and lived in a sweet ass apt over in Echo Park. THEN I could be happier. But as things stand, I'm more than satisfied with this.

The day started with me running over to Kroger to buy cupcakes per my promise to Lillian and everyone who would attend the Los Campesinos! in-store today. I said I would get 100 cupcakes...but sadly got 91 (yeah, did not properly multiply 14 x 7), but that was still more than enough. And people loved them. You know what I'm always saying, the way to a person's heart is through a cupcake!

Oh and the LC! show was awesomesauce. V, my pictures leave a certain something to be desired (this is the reason pro concert photog is not listed anywhere on my resume) so I'm borrowing some from the Criminal Records' Flickr set. I think you will feel like you were there? Hopefully?

The setlist was:
"Don't Tell Me To Do The Maths"
"My Year In Lists"
"Miserabilia" (I'm pretty sure)
One other song whose title escapes me

And then at the end of the set Lillian held up a sign and the lead singer said, "And thanks Erika for bringing the cupcakes." OMG. I practically died on the floor from sheer awesomeness, but I managed to just eeek out a "whoo!"

After that Sam and I went to the park and then IT SNOWED! It was amazing and fantastic! It was famazing and amatastic! Some snow got in my eye and then it wasn't so cool anymore. Then we went to Noni's, where I had the most ridiculously good meal. And it was someone's bday - again. I swurr, everytime I go there someone is having a birthday!

Then Sam and I talked and agreed that we were better off with other people and that we would remain friends and it was so awesome that I cried. Yeah. Yeeeaahhhh. And then I listened to "Brooklyn (Go Hard)" on the train home and tried to pretend I was in BK. For a split second, I so was! Then the train stopped and said, "North Avenue Station" and I remembered where I was.

Allz in allz, it had to be one of the best days of my life, and one of the most memorable, not to mention one of the most fun! But I have more than overstayed my welcome here, and I'm glad to be going back to LA...ahhh, fun in the sun.

E

You Can't Just Walk Into A Pageant And Expect To Win

2009-01-16T20:25:00.005-05:00

So. Tomorrow is my last day in Atlanta. I have been here for almost an entire month, doing what I would like to call ineffectively attempting to pretend I never left. You can deny the change inside you, but it doesn't do you any good. So I can't keep denying I haven't been changing since I left Atlanta almost six months ago. I can't deny it especially because all this change is making me more into the person I really want to be.

BUT on a much lighter note, tomorrow is another installment in Criminal's Beer Thirty, their weekly midday show during which you can drink and listen to music. Ummm, awesome combo. And tomorrow is my favorite show to date: Los Campesinos!

Not only am I excited to see LC! live, but I'm excited to see them indoors, since Criminal Records used to be a lot smaller and in-store shows were outside...even in the dead of winter.

Oh also there will be cupcakes! I hope. I asked Lillian if I could bring some and hopefully I can! (ps: lillian if you read this before your mail, pls check your mail, gracias)

Basically, as this trip winds down, so does my old life. I want to close the door on it once and for all. It's like I was telling my friend, "I have a lot of things to take care of before I can really start this year." And I will. And it'll be HARD, but worth it? I hope? Say yes?

And so that's that. Well, tomorrow that will be that. Officially. And then I'll be back to LA, the land before time, where the rest of the country is at least an hour ahead of us.

Then again, I would take hearing about who won an Oscar later than everyone else over the 30 degree weather that is ravaging my beautiful body at the moment. Anyone read the forecast? It's fucking 70 degrees over in my hood.

Huh. I so did have somewhere I was going with this post right now, but I have no idea what it was. Perhaps that is a mental hint that I should go eat some of the doughnuts my mom brought home.

E

Hey Internet, Still Here

2009-01-14T11:17:00.005-05:00

Recently, for reasons that are both here and there, I've been thinking about how to really start 2009 off in a great way. Things don't seem official yet. I know we're halfway through the first month, but I don't feel like I can start the year until I take care of things that were bothering me in 2008. Looking through my diary from late last year, I've realized that problems can get swept under the rug, but they never truly go away until you DEAL with them.

The sweeping bit is not the issue, obviously, it's the dealing with it part that presents a problem within itself.

Also funny (in that funny way that isn't really funny at all), I've learned that trying to plan too far ahead into the future is not practical. And only ends up frustrating you, especially when you make plans with someone else, because at that point, if you seem committed enough, even "maybes" start to sound like promises.

I do have a lot to look forward to this year. Rooming with Sarah and Olivia for a while, then probably again a little later, getting Brooklyn Prom Queen off the ground, cementing some friendships and breaking others...and, of course, blogging my eyes out. That sounds gross but it'll probably be fun. Kinda like those pedicures when fish nibble on your feet.

Other people have inspired me so much lately and at this point, I'm straddling that fine line between inspiration and replication. I'm trying to land in the former end of this spectrum, although my creative juices, like the delicious cranberry/pomegranate juice in the fridge, are gone and thus making it harder for me to step outside the box like I so normally can.

So, I'm not making any plans as of yet except to be happy and healthy (and guh, finally finally finally lose fifteen pounds?) and to take care of myself. I've kinda realized lately that I need to grow up already; that you can't just pick and choose when and where you feel like being and acting like an adult.

But like I said, no plans.

E

Gawd

2009-01-11T21:48:00.001-05:00

Is anyone else watching the Golden Globes right now? Do you have a Tumblr? Then please come to the dark side. We are livetumblr-ing this shit and things are getting better and better.

Also, I just wanted everyone to know I wasn't dead. You can tell the search dogs to go home and take a nap.

E

"They're Going To Pan The Camera Back To Him, But He's Already Gonna Be Gone."

2009-01-09T00:24:00.004-05:00

Whoa. I sorta internet died for a second guyz. I know I'm usually over hurr on the daily, popping in and talking about life and love and television and clothes and stickers and ponies and myspace.com, but lately I've been occupado (how the hell does THAT get by spellcheck?) at my mom's house. She's decided to sell the house I lived in in my precious, memory laden high school years. Like I care.

The real important part lies in the fact that I have to clean out everything and make piles of what stays with her when she jetsets to LA (yep, that's what I wanted, to live in the same state as mi madre un tiempo mas - that's one more time, right?) and what goes to Goodwill and what she sells at her garage sale. This is all sorts of crucial 'cos I'm sort of a packrat and I'm always terrified of throwing away some chunk of my childhood that I'll want in twenty years when my children are old enough to care about "vintage" and "retro."

Obvi this is an emotionally and time consuming process; I've been here for two weeks and all I've managed to clear up is one wall...well, it's a corner, mas o menos.

Anyways, if you guys are ever all like, "We need some Erika up in hurr," which I doubt ever happens, feel free to head over to my Tumblr, which I update like two hundred times a day, or you can totally SKYPE me. Not really.

So we'll let this just be my away message, in case I don't talk to ya'll for a minute. Oh, and of course I had to go out with a video. I love this song. It would play at the end of my personal life movie, as I walked into the sunset and the screen faded to black. I mean, obvi I have an active and well exercised imagination.

E

Happy Birthday Lillian!

2009-01-05T15:07:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was Lillian's birthday! In case you don't know Lillian (lame), she is awesome. She's super sweet, super dedicated (she pens Criminal Records weekly newsletter), and a super asset to the environment. You keep trying to fandangle that can crusher, girl! Since she loves music and she's probably the only person in the universe who actually cares about my end-of-the-year album lists, AND because she gave me those MIA bandannas at Record Store Day (I have them hanging on my mantle!), I'm dedicating this song to her.

Happy Birthday Lillian! Keep being totally eggpants!

E

Happy Women's Self-Empowerment Week!

2009-01-05T13:38:00.003-05:00

Apparently, in between socially oppressing us, limiting our choices when it comes to things that should completely be in our control (y'know, like our bodies and our hormones), telling us what we should look like, and then feeding us one contradiction after another, they gave us a Self-Empowerment Week.

Awww thanks guys. We'll totally sleep with you now that you're really starting to warm up to the struggle. Thanks for seeing our side. And oops, there went my panties!

Personally, I'd like to think I empower myself, regardless of whether society or men or other women (for that matter) are aiding in it or not. I mean, not to say I'm a fucking one woman army or anything, but I do what I want and I'm not so easily going to let someone stand in my way of it. I'm also pretty sure that despite the damsel-in-distress image society constantly pushes on us, we can handle ourselves and be independent. Then again, I forgot that "empowered" means not crying when you break a nail.

Which is stupid, because that shit hurts reeeallly bad! Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

But since the rest of the world decided to acknowledge us poor women we might as well put down the sewing needle and let the cookies burn in the oven right? I think I'm going to take this week to do whatever the fuck I want. And that includes fucking. I'm gonna have a motherfucking ovary party! Hey BOY, get the fuck out of my way! It's my week! Go shave or something. Or maybe make me a martini!

The girls at Jezebel, of course, being twenty million times more witty and smart than I, have way better ideas for how their spending this ONE WEEK.

In addition to bossing around the boy parts in my life, I think I'll also just fuck tampons and pads and bleed my woman juices all over the place! Deal with it!

Omigod just kidding. I'm not a savage. Although it does seem like a funny thing to do when you hate your roommate.

What about you bitches?

E

Is That Hummus? No, It's Guacamole. No, it's GuacaHummus.

2009-01-03T19:41:00.001-05:00

So my NYE was spent uneventfully eventfully. Around 8 I hung out with Sam, April, and her friend. We sat around eating potato wedges and doing face paint while April's friend made confetti bombs. My face paint was super cool and totally wood nymph.Everyone else looked equally dopity dope dope. April killed it, like always.
We sat around Pal's Lounge and had drinks. I had water because I'm lame. Oh, in case anyone is wondering, I went to F21 and couldn't find any of the dresses I had in mine, so I improvised because I was in a hurry. I picked out the entire outfit in 40 min and found a cute pair of leggings. I totally need to be on one of those makeovers in a hurry type shows. I wore this adorable dress that was black at the top and plaid on the bottom, with a black and white button underneath.

After Pal's we went to some huge house in Sandy Springs. That's really far, so you know. But the house was ginourmous. Like, I got lost in it it was so big. It was also super duper cold in there so I posted up next to the space heater with my pom & vodka and hung there most of the night. That's right. I'm wearing mittens. It was cold as fuck.
I was also the NYE pimp.There were a shit ton of fireworks so everyone decided to light bunches of sparklers out of a Korbels bottle all night. At 11:45 everyone crowded into the living room with their noisemakers and streamers in hand and we counted down to midnight and then we all screamed and everyone kissed everybody.

Then people proceeded to get mad drunk for the rest of the night (I just sipped my vodka and watched the antics) and this dude that was totally sweating me took a picture with me before I fell asleep on the couch. After that, we all went home and I got in around 3:30 am, went upstairs, and just managed to wash my face before collapsing in my bed.
Peace up, A town dooooowwwn.

E

When It Rains, It Pours.

2009-01-02T00:08:00.002-05:00

No one likes rainy days. Well, I do. In the spring. When they're calm little rainstorms that make you feel cute and feminine when you use your umbrella, or make you feel cozy and peaceful when you're sitting inside. Since it's raining today, I thought I would compile a playlist for a day like this.

April March: "Cet Air La" - April March is awesome. She's kinda important when it comes to the world of 90's chick rock. This is one of her calmer, sweeter songs. And it's in French, which is j'adorable.

The Velvet Underground: "After Hours" - I love this song. And I love this album. This song is just so sweet and earnest. I always want to be looking out a window over the city at night when I listen to it.

The Spinto Band: "Oh Mandy" - You might recognize this song, actually. It's mildly popular, and so sweet. It's about this guy who wants something that's always out of reach, and he knows it, but he tries and fails to get it anyway. Sadcute.

No Saving Grace: "Sandbox" - I actually don't know that much about No Saving Grace...I picked up this song sort of randomly, but it has a nostalgic feel about it. It's sort of sad, and the words are muddled, but I like it nonetheless.

Vivian Girls: "Where Do You Run To?" - Um, love the Vivian Girls. And this song is so perfect for a day inside and a cup of tea.

The Postmarks: "Winter Spring Summer Fall" - This song is awesome because it feels so 70s and Charlie Brown-esque. But then again, the whole album is magical like that.

Prints: "Blue Jay" - Not too sure if it's completely appropriate for a rainy day playlist, but this song will definitely brighten up your day and make you feel a million times more happy and hopeful if you're down.

Marcy Playground: "Sex and Candy" - I gotta represent the 90s here. This is a totally perfect song for rain. Totally perfect. Like disco lemondade.

Broken Social Scene: "7/4 Shoreline" - With all the BS(S) those guys have been coming out with as of late, I think it's time to take a step back to the basics. Did anyone see what I did there? With the initials of Broken Social Scene? Clever, right?

The National: "Green Gloves" - Did I ever mention that Boxer was one of fave albums of '07. It really was. It's such a fucking good album. Oh plus I always try to close my playlists with The National if I can help it.

That's it. It's probably dry wherever you guys are, so I suggest saving this playlist for a rainy day. See how I did that there? That pun I used? Yeah. I can see it already. I'm gonna be so clever in '09.

E

I Don't Want To Have To Die All Over Again.

2008-12-31T00:43:00.004-05:00

2009 is tonight. WTF. I really cannot comprehend it. Another year, done, finito, terminado. I don't have my dress just yet (I'm stopping by HM this afternoon) but I do have the heels (black suede stilettos, totally hot and awesome).

Due to my lack of transportation (I have no car and I live three miles away from the bus station, which is like 45 min walking) and my bf/ex-bf's lack of transpo and my mom's lack of caring, and my lack of friends, I might be sitting in a pretty dress and droolworthy heels alone in my living room, watching a Twilight Zone marathon and guzzling grape soda until I fall into a sugar coma, or fall asleep, whichever comes first.

Or I'll be out all night, making good use of my deodarant by dancing and partying and eating my way to a bigger pants size. I might collapse from exahustion on some stranger's couch with a streamer in my hair and red plastic cup in my hand.

I'm not sure. But what I am sure about is what I'll do next year. I won't settle. I've always settled because I didn't think I could have more. I thought, this is pretty much it. But in the car tonight, my mom told me, "I wish you knew that you deserved more."

I do. I really fucking do. And in 2009, I'm gonna get it.

Happy New Year's Eve ya'll. Take this year out in style and welcome the next one right.

E

That Dress.

2008-12-30T13:26:00.004-05:00

So tomorrow is NYE and in case you didn't peep my Missb post, I'm gonna party my ass off! Por serio. Since Sam and I going to see Band of Horses didn't quite work out, we are going to party hardy! I'm totally gonna be congenial and lovable and charming and everyone's best friend. I already have my super comfy white heels, but I need a dress. The only one I have is too formal since it's a nice dinner dress. Of course, I went on F21.com to find a cheap cute party dress.

Now I am going to get supremely girly on you and ask you all to help me pick on out. It has to stand a good bit of wear & tear, plus be machine washable because I will probably get a medley of food and alcohol on it.
This one is adorable and awesome and I've always thought strapless dresses are good for parties because they're fun and flirty. Plus it's only 30.00.
I like this one because it's short and blue and covered in sequins and could possibly pass as a TopShop dress.
This dress seems practical and cute, plus I think I could wear it in the summer too, just with some sandals or flats. Multi-purpose!

So, 1,2, or 3? Thoughts???

E

The Recieving End Of Giving

2008-12-26T22:13:00.004-05:00

how cute is this cupcake? created by kiwigirlsteph. totally put that to avoid copyright infringement like a motherfucker.

Well, love isn't ALL I got over Christmas. I also got gifts! What what! Among the awesomeness was my best gift ever...

A new laptop! It's adorable and fancy and small and new and a Toshiba! It's basically the arbiter of my happiness wrapped up in a two small hinge attached portable rectangles. I luh it! And it has Skype! Jump the fuck back! Plus the keys are sooooo smooth! Even as I type this, my fingers feel like ten little ice skaters gliding across beautiful glassy ice.

It's like poetry dudes.

And I got a pair of hi-top pink Converse! Holla fo a dolla! And Sam took fab note of what I wanted for Christmas and bought me shoes and perfume! 'Tis the season to be awesome. I got him a Steinski retrospective album, which is apparently mind-blowing and "perfect shower music" and, in if you go back far enough, he says, the reason why Girl Talk even exists! More profound than I bargained for, huh?

So, so, so....now that I have finished covering the top of my laptop with stickers, I wanna know:

What did you guys get????

E

Happy Christmas You Guys!

2008-12-24T21:24:00.002-05:00

Hopefully you are happy wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whomever you're with. I sure am. And if not, there's always Jack Daniels and iPods, so take your pick.

For those of you coherent enough to understand these words, I'm going to leave you guys with one of the (very very few) Christmas songs I like, from one of the (many) movies I really don't care for, Love Actually. Yeah that's right, I don't think that movie is all that great.

Merry Christmas!

And remember, giving is only better than receiving when no one's naked!

E

Bye Again!

2008-12-22T00:33:00.002-05:00

This morning I am leaving for Atlanta once again, only this time I'll be gone for a month. Things should get pretty interesting this time. Life lessons were learned, revelations were had; the year is slowly ending itself, and from what's happened so far, it seems like it'll only give way to a thousand awesome beginnings.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep updating things pretty frequently seeing as I'll be held hostage in my mom's home without a car (blegh, 25 to rent a car is so bullshit). I'm also excited because Sam and I are going to see Band of Horses on New Year's Eve and my gay bffl are going to party at all the gay clubs. And apparently there's a gay restaurant we're going to...just makes me wonder when Atlanta got so gay.

Anyways, I leave for the airport at 8:30 am, so I'm off to clean a little and then go to bed. I hope you guys have a fantastical Christmas break. I really do. And to totally segue, I would like to leave you guys with this video, of a song that's been in my head all day.

Sometimes I really want this song to play when I enter a room. I guess it is, in my head.

Goodnight world, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

E

2009. I Hope You Don't Suck.

2008-12-21T13:50:00.005-05:00

So in the same vein as Lolita, I thought I would share my favorite albums of 2008. This was a weird year for music wasn't it? We saw the break-ups and disbandonments of the Teeth (this was actually really sad, because these guys are fucking fantastic), Be Your Own Pet (no one saw that coming), Wolfmother (I REALLY didn't see that coming!), and the Format (who?).

But even amongst all the turmoil, controversy, and post-apocalyptic themed releases from meaningful core bands (a - Coldplay, I am disappointed, b - I read far too much Hipster Runoff. Must stop following on Tumblr), we saw the emergence of some amazing albums, and bands for that matter, like the So So Glos, Little Joy, Friendly Fires, and Lackthereof, Menomena's side proyecto.

Anyways, here are my favorite albums from 2008:

15. Noot D’Noot Goofer Dust: I was pretty stoked about this release, especially after I saw them play at WRAS Fest [that's the concert WRAS 88.5 - the college station - held last year. Noot D'Noot and Janelle Monae played it, among other dope hip hop and punk bands. It was fucking awesome because it was only 7.00 a person and it went till 2 am] and then again at Record Store Day. So of course I jumped at the chance to buy it at their Whirlyball [it's a place where you can play whirlyball, which is like a combo of bumper cars and um, scoopyball, which makes no sense, but it would if you played it. Sometimes they have shows there and they're always awesome because it has a bar and pool tables and bathrooms!] show. It’s fucking awesome and trippy and badass. It goes perfect with, ahem, mind enhancements…uh, I mean tea and cookies.

14. Apes and Androids Blood Moon: It’s been a while since I’ve listened to an album where every song on it sounds completely different. That whole aspect keeps Blood Moon really fun and interesting, plus the lyrics are awesome. Who else would say “She’s got an ATM that doesn’t work but you can relax, she’s got cash!” “Golden Prize” is my favorite song. It always makes me want to put on a lot of sequins and spandex and dance in front of mirror. So, you know, it makes me want to be an American Apparel ad.

13. Beach House Devotion: There probably isn’t anything I could say about this album that hasn’t already been said. Perfectly crafted, beautiful, ethereal and effortless. I think if it was possible to live in the clouds, Beach House would be there.

12. Earlimart Hymn and Her: I started to get into Earlimart when they put out Tormentor but I forgot about them until Hymn and Her. I love how heavy the sound is, but at the same time, how light the sound is. It’s like…air whipped honey.

11. Boy Kill Boy Stars and the Sea: This album cost me a shit load (almost forty dollars to be exact) because the record industry tried to fuck American consumers over by not getting anyone in the States to distribute it so it was only available as an import. I fucking hope they can sleep well at night knowing they’re forcing music lovers to have to make a choice between music and food. Oh, and the album’s great; a lot more poppy than their ’06 release Civilian, but danceable and bright nonetheless. I just had to get that first part out there.

10. Vivian Girls Vivian Girls: The girl’s guide to muddled hipster punk.

9. Santogold Santogold: I really like this album, not because Santogold is a black woman challenging stereotypes and really making it in a “white” genre, but because it’s just good music with good messages and that’s what’s really important.

8. WHY? Alopecia: I fell in love with WHY? after I heard “The Hollows.” I played that song for hours on end and I was like, I have to get this record. So I did and it was totally worth it. Even though when you first listen to it, the words just sound like, well words that happen to rhyme, if you really focus and listen, you’ll find a lot of awesome little surprises. I ‘m pretty sure Alopecia will be the most slept on album this year.

7. Flowers Forever Flowers Forever: I like this album because there are a lot of horns and bouncy drums and even some organs! Yeah, even organs! I’m definitely going to be playing “Happy New Year” on New Year’s Eve. Oh and you should too. Flowers Forever is sort of like what would happen if The Black Lips went to Mexico and added Mariachi players and carnival workers. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

6. The Chapin Sisters Lake Bottom LP: I think of this album as what would happen if emo kids made folk music. Really though, these girls sing about being killed, falling out of love, and being generally super depressed. It’s a sad album, but there’s no denying that their voices and music are lovely, so I don’t mind being a little sadder after listening to them.

5. White Hinterland Phylactery Factory: LOVE this album. I used to just put it on in the car in the Spring and let it play all the way through. Casey Deniel’s voice is so light and breezy and the piano and drum accompaniment is really jazzy and smooth. When I listen to this album, I think of walking around barefoot in the Hamptons in the ‘20s wearing a white dress and a feather headband.

4. Dr. Dog Fate: First of all, I would like to point out that Dr. Dog has put an album out every year consecutively since 2005. That’s kind of amazing in my book. I think this is their richest album so far. I love how much their new songs remind me of albums they put out years ago yet still sound brand new. But I can’t actually listen to “Army of Ancients” because it makes me cry. Yeah. Go ahead and laugh. Once I went into Barnes and Noble and they were tracking through the album and I heard that song and started crying in the middle of the magazine section. Sad.

3. King Khan and the Shrines The Supreme Genius of King Khan and The Shrines: I was a fan of these guys since 2007 when What Is?! came out, but really this album is phenomenal. It’s so fucking…groovy. And that ain’t a word I use lightly. It’s definitely perfect for listening to at the beach.

2. The Dodos Visiter: After I heard “Fools” on 88.5 [the GA State college station] earlier this year, I knew I was going to really like these guys. And what do you know? I did! Their rhythms are innovative, their voices are pure and smooth, and their lyrics are wonderful. My favorite song on Visiter is “Ashley.” It reminds me of something, but I’m not sure what it is.

1. M83 Saturdays = Youth: This was an album that took me a little while to warm up to. After listening to it a couple of times, it definitely grew on me. Plus I would completely wear every outfit on the album cover. Really, every song on that album is so beautiful and gauzy. Totally makes me feel like I’m wearing short shorts and running around in a field of daisies holding sparklers in 1983 while the sun is setting. But that’s just me.

I Have No Portfolio And I Only Show Where There's Free Alcohol

2008-12-20T03:30:00.004-05:00

Awww, old CSS, miss U <3.

Anyways, since I'm pretty sure there's nothing in life I'm supremely good at, for comfort I've turned to one of my few loves in this world: collages. I love collaging, and have loved it since freshman year of high school when I made a collage to go on my binder. I did it every year of high school and people always took a completely unexpected interest in them. I never understood why, but um, whatevs.

Since then I've taken to collaging everything. I've collaged my tabletop, my wallet, and even had my old lighter collaged, but someone broke that when we were trying to open beer bottles on the night of my going-away party.

Old lighter, miss u <3.

And tonight I have proudly finished my biggest collage to date! I took an old bulletin board, went to work on it, and I have to say, it's pretty fucking amazing. It's totally an awesome mix of punk rock, feminism, tongue-in-cheek, retro, and bohemian chic. It's totally going to be someone special's Christmas present...

I think I might go into this, as like, a profession. Or maybe just a means of paying my way through school. Maybe I'll roll like Jewels and get paid for my art/hobbies so I never have to get a job! Actually, that sounds perfect. See you guys at The Smell!

E

OMG X 4 Pt 2

2008-12-19T18:30:00.004-05:00

So that sale over at KLoop is hella fierce. Like you guys have to get over there and get on that sale. I really saved over 54 dollars with GLOW! Anyway, this is what I ordered. Will be getting Tuesday!!! I hope.

The IM King tee is a dude's shirt, but I just ordered a small because dudes shouldn't get to have ALL the fun! Actually, this is a question I've often asked people: why do chicks shirts have to say "My boyfriend's out of town" or "Yes, but not with you" or "I just stole your boyfriend!" but dudes get cool graphics on their shirts? WTF is up with that?

Okay that's it. Yay! All of this for only $62.42! Get it girls!

E

OMG OMG OMG OMG!

2008-12-19T15:49:00.005-05:00

Dudez, guess what I just got?! A text from Karmaloop!

50% OFF THE WHOLE SITE! GO BUY SOMETHING TODAY! THE SALE ENDS THIS MONDAY!

Use the code: GLOW

Or use the above code for 40% off the ENTIRE MOFO'ING ORDER!

ZOMG people! It's the biggest fucking sale Karmaloop history! Dooooo it!!!! WE CAN FINALLY AFFORD MOB AND P.O.P AND HELLZ BELLZ!!!!!!

//Update//

I just got a MOB tee, Hellz Bellz tee, Obey tee and IM King tee all for only 62.42! I saved over 54 dollars ya'll!

Holla fo a dolla!

E

Yo Dawg I Herd You Liked Memes So I Put A Meme In Your Meme So U Can Blog While U Blog

2008-12-19T00:31:00.005-05:00

I have finally discovered the Xzibit meme. If you are not big on Tumblr, chances are you will have never seen this, but I happened to stumble on this glory awhile back, and decided to look into it. From that point on, I found nothing but treasure. No one is really sure who exactly started it, but people have been DIY-ing this shit ever since the first one popped up. This is the best meme in history.

The Xzibit meme wins 2008!

Head over to my Tumblr for the other awesomeness you probably missed.

2009 memes have big internet shoes to fill!

Oh god, I sound like Hipster Runoff.

E

Sassy Senoritas Eating Juevos And Gorditas

2008-12-18T02:27:00.003-05:00

So some of you guys (V, Sarah, and Alex) might have noticed something pop up in your inbox this morning. That's because I made a new blog! It's called Brooklyn Prom Queen and it's super special because it's just for you guys! By you guys, once again I mean V, Sarah, and Alex. On it we can discuss awesomesauce music, kickass books, movies, and other badass magazines and publications that we like as well as White Rice!

It's basically the blawg Messiah. Oh yeah, so back to your inboxes (what a fucked up plural!), I sent you guys emails so the four of us can all write whatever we want whenever we want!

Brooklyn Prom Queens unite!

E

I...Don't Even Have Words

2008-12-17T17:24:00.003-05:00

What the fuck is this? I was Googling something completely un-Elmo related when I stumbled onto this picture. All I know is this would have scared me shitless when I was like 5 or 6. I can't even bear to look at it for an extended period of time. *shudders*

E

Small Town Girls With Small Town Realities

2008-12-17T02:34:00.003-05:00

So it's nothing new that I left Atlanta to come to La La Land for school and life. Blah blah blah. But I was on Myspace - the dreaded enabler of cyber-bullies, child predators, shitty bands, and self indulgent emo kids - recently and I saw something that messed with my head a little. So anyone who's still using Myspace nowadays has noticed how it suddenly has this shitty Facebook-esque feature called People You May Know in which they display the profiles of people in your area/who listed the same school as you/whatever.

The scariest thing is the fact that I recognize half these "people I may know" because they went to my high school. Ugh. I hated HS because the people there were narrowminded, judgmental, cliche, and boring. No one got me. No one tried to. I was that one alt fish in a sea of mainstreamers. Anyways, the fucked up thing isn't the fact that those stupid kids are suddenly popping up again, the crazy thing is the fact that they haven't left their homes.

I went to HS in a retarded backwards area called Duluth, in North Atlanta. It shares its name with Duluth, Minnesota because the rail line runs through both of them. Ugh. It was a stupid place. It was suburban hell. Basically I spent any and all my time downtown or in the East, where people didn't judge and everyone was cool.

When I was a senior and I told people I was moving to CA, they would always get wide-eyed and say, "That's so far!" In a ridic semi-Southern accent, natch. But basically everyone funneled into three schools: Univ of GA, GA Tech, or GA State. Anything besides that was unheard of, and actually moving downtown to attend said schools was equally rare.

So what I am trying to say, in what seems as drawn out and muddled a way possible, is that leaving behind that security was the best thing for me. What if I had stayed there? I could still be living with my mom in the suburban pit o' doom. Take my old HS friend for instance. Homegirl is 19 and she lives with her mom and takes the train downtown because she's too afraid to drive on the highway.

Chances are, I wouldn't have ended up like that because I am so independent and urban. But it's scary to think that if I had stayed there, I might have.

E

Oh Fuck It, I'm Gonna Have A Party!

2008-12-16T22:08:00.003-05:00

I'm at that point where you are so upset/frustrated/hurt/tired that you start laughing. You know, like when you hurt yourself but all you can do is cry...then starting laughing? So I am just gonna say fuck it, I have no boyfriend anymore, no job, no money, I keep getting cuts on my hands from god knows what, and all my clothes are in various stacks on the floor because I have been putting off building this goddamn IKEA dresser, but so what? Fuck it!

I'm gonna party myself silly! Fuck responsibilities, fuck the "real world", fuck heartache! All I need is some Spice Girls and eyeliner! I'm gonna have so much fun...um...I'll have a lot of fun!

I'll party like it's 1987 and I'm as cool as Lisa Turtle! (I always wanted to be her...if acid wash denim sets were back in style I would so rock one, scrunchie, Reeboks and all!)

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it! This is one of those times! Now direct yourself to the Nada Surf video below. Thank you!

E

Thoughts???

2008-12-15T13:51:00.004-05:00

I have been dying to get a tattoo. I was supposed to get one for my birthday, but I didn't have enough money since any checks I got had to go to buying books and food. Ugh. I still want to get a pin-up girl on my leg and a Fafi girl somewhere (maybe my shoulder or upper back - basically I'm trying to stay away from any body areas where I may already be fat/have potential to get fat. But I'm also super obsessed with the Virgin of Guadalupe (I weird interest in Catholic religious symbols and saints) and luckily enough, I live in LA which means just about every single tat parlor has someone who does the Virgin and does her well.

Okay that sounded super disrespectful and gnarly. Moving on, I just don't know where I would put her. I really want something on my forearm but that's kinda tricky unless you work in a super fun liberal awesome work environment that doesn't get shirty about those things. Espesh since I don't have a job right now.

I just really want to put the Virgin somewhere I could see her, so I could be reminded of her awesomeness all the time. Maybe my upper arm? That just seems so cliche. (Haha, like getting a tat of the Virgin is not)

Meh, I need help. I just don't know what to do! Ladiessss!

"Boooyahh! The Baby Is Black!"

2008-12-15T01:12:00.002-05:00

So I got my cable transferred from my old apt to my new fab apt and because of that, the cable dudes gave me free Showtime for a year. I was not about to argue with something that awesome. Sooo...with my newfound Showtime-iness, I decided to pretend I was like 3728973281 thousand other Americans and tuned in for the Californication season finale.

Now, I've never seen a single episode, so all I knew was there was a goth girl and the big Duchov was a sex addict in the real world. These things became irrelevant, however, because the recap took care of everything I did not know beforehand.

So the show. It made no sense to me. I don't understand how people tuned in for a season of this. I was pleasantly suprised when the preggers chick had a black baby and then Duchov started dancing around.

And someone please explain to me if Hank has a wife? I can't tell, because he is getting frisky with girls all over the place. I am sort of confused. And whose child is the goth girl? And why is he writing a book on a typewriter? And why is he writing a book? And how were people fucking with their clothes on? And...? And...?!

Thus I deem Californication the most confusing and Los Angelian show on Showtime.

WTF to infinity.

E

JEWELS Makes Tees!

2008-12-14T20:01:00.002-05:00

Duh, it only makes sense that everyone's favorite Staten Islander would somehow find a way to infiltrate all points of street fashion and awesome them up! First she made bags...then pins...she even sent me some stickers...now homegirl makes shirts! Since I know most of you girls are East Coast for life, you kinda have to go buy one of these badass tees. Wear it to school, or work, or to the bodega, or while you're sitting in your fire escape (I want to live in a building with a fire escape so bahyuddd!), wherever. Just wear it! It's cheaper than other streetwear and by buying one you're supporting an independent business and that's important. Plus we ladies gotta help us ladies.
Lord knows the boys won't. Find your favorite tee at The Bubblegum Pony*s Shop. Get it girls!

E

"The Only Time People In LA Are Nice To Me Is When They're On Drugs!" And What Else Happened at Bright Lights

2008-12-13T16:53:00.008-05:00

If anyone remembers, or chooses to, or doesn't give a shit (I still love you), V and I went to the Bright Lights Fashion Show at the Regent/Safari Sam's downtown last Wednesday. Holy complicated run-on sentence Batman.

Due to some personal confusion (on my personal part), we got there two hours before it actually started. Because of this, I suggested we make a Hipster Bingo card. It was sweet. And we got to see Mossy Stone play. They were really good. I liked them a lot and the guy we deemed the Alt/Xavier hipster played in it. We found that to be pretty alt of him.

Then there was this girl, who was not only totally Missbehave, but a model and from afar, V thought she looked like Sarah Morrison. We then assessed that that was because she was hanging around the DJ booth. But she was badass. On the runway, homegirl started break dancing!

I forgot to mention, the DJ was kinda not good. Like sort of too into his music to think about what he was playing. V drew a line chart describing this phenomenon. It kinda went like this:

Sorry guy. Better luck next time?

Then Ellei J came by and took our pictures. She asked me if I was going to blog about this. I said, excitedly, "Yes!" I looked like I was on X (-stacy, not -anax):

Here's V. I think I can put her picture up. It might be creepy/illegal since I didn't ask her first. Oh well, I love lawsuits!

And there was actual fashion too! Once the show started, things got better. Kaviar & Cigarettes was my favorite line that night. I mean, how cute are cigarette earrings? We found our favorite Alt Model (we, btw, used the word "alt" about 2438984038 times that night. We described everything with it. By probably misusing the word to an extreme level, we were pretty alt.), then there was this guy (when he came out I screamed, Is that Steve Aoki?!) and then an X-ed up guy gave us a hug on the street corner.

I said, "The only time people in LA are nice to me is when they're on drugs!"

Then the dudes from Saint Motel caught us walking away from the Regent/Safari Sam's/building and talked to us. Um, yeah, I'm not at liberty to disclose anything that followed. Because it was weird and creepy and it's best if only V and I know what happened.

Finally, after trying to find the alt model, and failing, we went to Pinkberry. Not really. I was trying to convince V to hit the strip club, but she said the club was sketchy on a Wednesday night. I countered by saying, "No, that's when they bring out their A game!"

E

I Feel Like He Could Inherit The Hipster Runoff Throne One Day...

2008-12-12T01:20:00.005-05:00

Sergio is the most awesome guy on the planet. The whole one. I want to run into him at some seedy ass bar concert in Brooklyn and then ask him what he thinks of...um, everything. And then I'll buy him a few too many drinks, take him to my walk-up in Spanish Harlem, and force him to blog for me and sign my name at the bottom.

In between we'll perhaps play Yahtzee and watch TV shows on DVRs and do the robot to shitty DJ music.

E

My Life Can Be Summed Up In Yellow Lights

2008-12-12T00:34:00.004-05:00

So, so very close, but never quite there. Gawd...I need a drink. A serious one. I need motivation. I need stability, dependability, practicality...I need to have fun. Even the strongest people have rocks of their own...why do mine keep crumbling? I'm looking for metaphors in everything. I feel ridiculous 99.9% of the time. The other .1% of the time I feel anxious. I'm getting out of bed only to spend my day mentally asleep. I stay busy doing nothing. I make plans that don't follow through so I can have things to look forward to, even if they're disappointments.

I keep cutting my parachute line before I jump. I keep looking for the sun in broad daylight. I keep passing the time by counting the seconds. I keep getting sucked in and consciously making the same mistakes because I hope for a different outcome each time. But that's insanity, right?

Right?

E

This Is Lily!

2008-12-09T14:48:00.003-05:00

It's been a long year for Miss Allen, but things are looking up! Life is looking up! New song, new old look, and finally...NEW RECORD!

Here it is in all its glory you guyz. It's Not Me, It's You:

Oh, and there's supposed to be a tour, I think? Can't wait! It's Not Me, It's You drops Feb 10. Be ready!

E

I Definitely Didn't Know About This

2008-12-09T02:22:00.005-05:00

While perusing the once great, now hollowed shell of musical existence that is Subterranean, I stumbled on this video in their Top 25 Videos of 2008 list. It came in at #16.

I personally have an extreme and memory-rich love of Dr. Dog. I got into them back when We All Belong first came out in '07, and then started digging and basically just fell in love with the whole catalog. My bf knew a little about them and with my obsession with them, he probably got more Dr. Dog in his life than he could handle. I have so many memories and feelings (both happy and sad) attached to Dr. Dog's music that I can't listen to a single song anymore without crying. In fact, I'm starting to tear up just listening to "Ain't It Strange" in my head. It's a bummer though, because I love Dr. Dog and put at least two songs on all my playlists.

Anyways, it would seem they made a video to "Alaska," which happens to be one of the best songs on their '07 release. I remember when my bf and I were driving to the park from dinner at night and we were driving through downtown ATL and I said, "Wait, let me put on some city night driving music," and I put this song on. All the lights...and this song...and then my bf put his hand on mine and we just looked at each other and no one said a thing...it was perfect.

Oh shit. Since I'm getting all teary again, let me just play the damn video. The concept is cool too. It reminds me of the video for "Mountains" by the Spinto Band, or "Who's There?" by Cavil at Rest (but only very loosely). Anyway, watch it, love it, live it. DDFL.

Dr. Dog - New Music - More Music Videos

"And There Isn't A Single Clock In Los Angeles?" And Other Reasons Why Everybody's Life Recaps Sound Like Sarah Morrison's Best Week Ever

2008-12-08T02:06:00.006-05:00

Recently, my phone has started acting up. By acting up, I mean just literally cutting the fuck off right in the middle of texting, conversations, and in general. For some reason, this defectiveness has affected my phone's clock, which is somehow behind an hour or 15 minutes. Confused, I called my mom and asked her the time. She told me she was busy, talked to me, then asked me why I called. I told her it was to see what time it was. I explained my phone's brokenness. She said, "Are you telling me there isn't a single clock in Los Angeles?"

I was at the Simi Valley Town Center in gross boring Simi Valley, looking for Urban. I texted my mom, "This place is boring and quiet. You would like it. Except I think I'm the only black person here."

My mom called me and told me that there wouldn't be heat or hot water in the townhouse I'm moving into until Monday. She then asked if I wanted to stay in the apt I currently live in for another week. I told her, "I will heat my bath water in the microwave before I stay in this apt!"

After math class, some kids and I were talking while having some American Spirits. Somehow the topic of porn came up. They shared their respective favorite porn sites and laughed when they realized they were the same. One kid looked at me and said, "Erika, do you watch porn?" I shrugged and said, "Yeah, when I have nothing better to do."

My mom called me and told me about how she had to take my dog Frizzy to the vet for some bumps on her back. Apparently, the vet said it was due to Frizzy being allergic to her own environment. I said, "That's ridiculous! The next thing you know, they'll diagnose her with Fibromyalgia!"

My roommate had a large group of friends over. This girl came to the door telling us about some break-from-study party she and some people were throwing involving food, drinks, and free hand massages. I went to tell my roommate and company. At the end I said, "I guess she'll see ya'll there." Upon leaving, I heard one girl say, "Ya'll?" and another say, "That's Atlanta." Then they laughed. I texted my bf, saying, "Why do they have to make fun of me for saying ya'll? I don't make fun of them for saying hella!" He replied, "That's because you say that too."

E

Erika's Top Ten Movies of 2008

2008-12-07T19:31:00.003-05:00

It's been a loooong year for la cinema, no? Somehow, through all the shit-tastic films that have weedled their way into the theatres, some really fantastic movies have been put out this year. Here are my favorites. Click on SEE to be taken to each trailer and the movie name to see my personal (and awesome) review of said pelicula!

And of course, feel free to add your faves and opinions below!

10. Wanted (loves me some James McAvoy!) SEE
9. Lower Learning SEE
8. A Girl Cut In Two SEE
7.A Christmas Tale SEE
6. Repo! The Genetic Opera SEE
5. Happy-Go-Lucky SEE
4. Let The Right One In SEE
3. Filth & Wisdom SEE
2. Batman: The Dark Knight SEE
1. Synecdoche New York SEE

Yay movies! I'm looking forward to many, many more amazing ones. And maybe not by myself! Hope!

E

Thanks Guys!

2008-12-07T14:44:00.002-05:00

Thanks to everyone who gave me their opinions on my last post! I can now have my English paper finished up by this afternoon (after I go to Urban Outfitters, and 7-11, and the grocery store and Target...okay so I may never stop procrastinating...).

Anyway, I just took down the previous post because I didn't want people randomly answering two weeks from now...so thanks again you guys! I mean it!

I couldn't have passed my English class without you! E-hugs!

E

I Want To Start A Community Thrift Store!

2008-12-06T14:29:00.004-05:00

This is pretty fucking cool! Current TV never ceases to amaze me with its awesome programs. The one trend I've been noticing with these kinds of things is that the communities that people are fixing up and developing are usually some of the poorest in the city. I think that's what makes it easier, because these communities tend to be tight knit and open for help and change. That's probably why the Echo Park and Silverlake neighborhoods are more community-oriented. Because believe it or not, those areas (despite the expensive shopping) are lower socioeconomic areas.It seems like it would be a little discouraging to try to do things in more well-off neighborhoods because people have the capabilities and money to help themselves.

But my little thoughts on life aside, this is still pretty awesome and totally supports my wanting to move to Philly completely. I totally wish I could run a community thrift store. Minus the Christiness, the little bearded hipsters are so me!

You must be the change you want to see in the world.
--- Mahatma Gandhi

E

Look What I Got!

2008-12-05T15:17:00.005-05:00

Dude I really wish Karmaloop gave out gift certificates or membership cards, because I buy like everything from that website. Por serio. In our latest installment of Things I Bought From Karmaloop, today I found these waiting for me in my mailbox. Booyah!

This Richard Nixon shirt is my favorite. In my American History class in high school my friend and I had this weird inside joke about Nixon. Everytime something confused us we'd say, this is one "Tricky Dick!" Thus this shirt pays homage to that retardedness. I am so stoked to wear it to that fashion show on Wed. Plus e.5 charlie is like my new favorite brand because it's actually affordable.

Oh and does anyone remember these glasses? Well I got those too. And they are badass but the pictures I tried to take of me in them are not, so I'm going to spare you those.

Loves me some Karmaloop!

E

I Really Love Current TV

2008-12-05T02:56:00.003-05:00

Like Logo and the Lifetime Real Women's Network, I had no idea this channel existed until we got cable with an expanded package (aka fancy cable). I watched it once, when I was flipping channels and happened to stop on it. On was this guy who was learning how to skateboard and roaming around NYC talking to lil NYC boarders. I found it at once endearing and educational, interesting and informative.

Thus my love for Current TV began. This channel is amazing. The fact that it laces set programming with viewer created content and amazing documentaries is so fucking revolutionary. What's also bomb.com is how most programs are only 15 to 20 minutes long, so if something isn't fun to watch, you don't have to watch it for long! Just wait! In ten minutes, another show will come on!

In between the cool shows, they feature current events that are sent in by viewers and users of current.tv, basically allowing for the viewers of the channel to create the news they see as well as share their thoughts on said news. It's completely amazing.

Did I say how much I loved this channel? I've been watching it ALLZ the time, and getting smarter by the minute! Just yesterday I watched a Lisa Ling documentary on LA gang violence and tonight I'm watching a documentary about Japanese clubs that hire North American girls to be hostesses! It's sofa king fascinating!

Oh and plus they play Radiohead's "Reckoner" between shows. Um awesome. When I'm a famous journalist I want to work for Current TV. I want my own show where I talk about music. It'll be called The Week That Was.

Probs not.

E

NEW LILY ALLEN VIDEO!

2008-12-04T22:18:00.002-05:00

Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! Lily is for realz back! I am so stoked on this new album. I don't even have words for this. You see how the title is in all caps?! It's like I'm screaming!!! Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!

Loves me some Lily Allen! And this song is sooo good. And it's good to see her with long hair again. And I love Lily Allen and this song.

And that is all.

E

Hawt Or Nawt?

2008-12-04T01:36:00.004-05:00

Dear gawd these shoes border on completely ugly and slightly extremely garish. But, they have this total 1990's Clueless Cher Horowitz feel to them. I really have no fucking idea when, where, or how I would wear these babies, but I somehow feel like I need them in my closet. Plus I could take out the current ribbon and replace it with whatever ribbon went with my outfit. Options?

Thoughts?

Spear Hunters, Rainbow Feathers, And Spirit Killers

2008-12-03T03:18:00.005-05:00

Man, I would love to have a band called that. I think I'll just start bands to name them. We'll have one badass song and then disband. That would be so punk rock.

So I'm standing in my room, putting away my notebook and my roommate's friend Cindy is in there, using my roommate's laptop like always. I say hi and she asks me about my portfolio. (For our English 155 class we have to put together an end of semester portfolio filled with the essays we've written this semester.)

She asks me if I find that class hard and I say no. Boring? Yes. I have an extreme aversion to expository writing; it is more than obvious, I'm sure, that I prefer the more elaborate, richer storytelling side of writing. But hard? Nah.

Cindy then tells me that she really hates that class because her professor is so critical of her writing. She says that she has always had people tell her they liked her writing, and she has always gotten A's on her assignments. But this one professor thinks her writing is "complicated."

I tell her she can't let one person's opinion become fact. She says she doesn't want to major in Psychology anymore, and that she wanted to major in Journalism like me, but has lost her love of writing from taking this class. She says she dreads it now.

It makes me sad to hear things like this, because I can actually relate. In 10th grade, I had a teacher who would never give me more than a C on any paper I turned in, then once told me I was a good writer. I was like, WTF woman? Give me a fucking A then!

But I know I'm a fucking good writer. It just proves that you can't let one person stop you from doing what you want and love. I told Cindy she couldn't let it get to her because she'll be facing that all her life and if she let's it bother her, she'll just be sad and depressed.

Can you fucking believe it? I'm giving out goddamn life lessons now. Who would have ever thought...

But it's true. I remember when I was the Features Editor for my HS newspaper (hell yeah, I wrote the album and movie reviews AND won an award for my review of Justice's + thank you!) and I had to do news writing. I hated it. So very much. But instead of saying, "That's it, I never want to write again," I just said, "I'll never write on a newspaper again. But I'll keep writing."

You guys, never let anyone come between you and your dreams, desires, hopes, wants, loves, lusts, passions, whatever. Just remember: one person having a fucked up opinion does NOT make it fact.

E

Once Upon A Time I Was A Nerd

2008-12-03T02:28:00.002-05:00

Okay, I still have a little bit of nerd girl in me. Not gonna lie. But I was reminded of this deeply suppressed nerdiness when I was listening to my Zune in the car today. See? I have a Zune. I'm like an alt nerd.

Anyway, it was on shuffle and things were chill until "Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn" came on. I haven't listened to Hellogoodbye in like two years. And crazily, I remembered all the lyrics. Like they just came pouring out of me like a foreign language in cadence with the music. It brought back flashbacks of me spending forever on the Drive Thru Records website trying to find a cheap Hellogoodbye tee (ahhh to no avail), and putting "Jesse Buy Nothing... Go to Prom Anyways" on repeat, and then practically frothing at the mouth when I heard there would be a second album. I remember pre-ordering that shit a day late, so I actually got my record the day AFTER it dropped in stores, but getting a color by numbers-style black velvet poster with it. I would campaign for HGB and constantly try to propogate their superiority over other pop/punk bands at the time. I felt my heart drop when I saw their video on MTV, and I almost got into a car wreck dancing to "Touch Down Turnaround."

It was kinda sad, in retrospect. I just wanted to hang out with guys who were nerdy and awesome like that. I wanted to go to Huntington Beach and chill with them, playing trivia at Mexican restaurants and TP-ing people's cars and other stupidly fun things. Like I said, it was sad.

E

Because You And I Both Know How It Feels To Have Clothes We Don't Wear

2008-12-02T22:56:00.005-05:00

This book is gawd. No. Seriously. Oh, what's it about? I am so very glad you asked.

Basically, everyone loves vintage. If you don't, you're probably like fourteen and just don't have an appreciation for it yet. But don't worry, in time it will come. Anyways, all of us vintage shopaholics know how it feels when you spend a whole day combing a vintage store, running back and forth from the dressing room to the racks, diving headfirst into piles, trying to force your feet into authentic Chanel flats three sizes too small - only to take home your things and realize they're just not right. The hem is fucked up, the skirt is too long, you're not exactly a fan of a good old fashioned mutton sleeve...whatever. In any case, you find yourself regretting your purchase and wishing you had that 17.38 back in your wallet. Maybe you can use that checkered micro mini as a pillowcase?

Have no fear! Bridget Artise and Jen Karetnick have put together the most amazing book in history. They show you how to rework and reconstruct all your vintage finds and transform them into even more amazing pieces of clothing. I'm going to buy this book as soon as it drops on December 9.

Consider yourself sold.

E

Comics Are Cartoons For Adults

2008-12-02T19:28:00.003-05:00

I am so tired. Just tired. Je suis fatigue. I'm hungry and suddenly find myself wondering what ever happened to Joss Stone.

Anyways, this morning was volunteering at Glenwood Elem School. In case you didn't know (which you definitely probably didn't), I volunteer a few hours every week at Glenwood ES in Sun Valley, a small, low income city in the San Fernando Valley. It's pretty easy to miss; the exit for it is right off the 5 frwy, on the way to LA. Almost the entire population is Latino; I think there's only one non-Latino in that whole school that I've seen, and he's black.

My class, room 11, is awesome. The kids are bouncy and loud and remind me of 2nd grade, when you didn't want to listen to any adults and all you wanted was the other girls' approval. Today, I had to help out a little girl named Daniela, who can speak English fine but has trouble writing it. Like serio trouble. The class was writing Santa letters and she needed help.

I said, "What do you want for Christmas?"

She said, "I want the Hannah Montana."

"Hannah Montana everything?"

"Yeah."

*Sigh* "Okay, let's tell Santa that."

It got to the point where I was so exhausted that I had to tell her which letter to write. I would make the sound and she wouldn't know the letter so I had to get crafty. A was the house letter, O was the circle letter, h was the chair letter, N was the little mountain letter, and M was the big mountain letter. It took us 45 minutes to write eight sentences. I was so tired after that that my volunteering for the day was done, son.

Speaking of done, my religious studies class will be offish over in two weeks. Holla! No one ever take that class, okay? To further illustrate (literally) that point, I am going to show you what I do in that class. Uh, I mean besides sleep and skip.

E

Hell Fucking Yeah

2008-12-01T18:22:00.003-05:00

V, are you thinking what I'm thinking? We need to head back up to Santa Monica for this one.

"Chik-Fil-A Doesn't Exist Here" And All The Other Reasons Living In More Than One City Is Confusing

2008-12-01T16:08:00.007-05:00

I took this picture while driving around. I had time to kill so I just drove and drove and drove through three counties. Funnily enough, I don't even remember in what county this picture was taken.

So I have been feeling really out of place here in LA. I haven't found anything that just makes me feel like I belong here. Not yet anyways. I think I want to leave, and then come back. I also think I want to go to New York. There's no denying how amazing it is. What I love is how you can live your own life and yet stay connected to the city simultaneously. It's such a living, breathing city. You can tell when its sad, or happy. You can feel it when New York holds its breath, and you can let out a sigh of relief when it does.

Anyways, totally NY unrelated, I have also been seriously thinking of going back to Atlanta. I will admit it has gotten a little bit funner (although the vast amounts of fun are still reserved for those 21+), I still feel like I should stay in LA a little longer. That is one of the things I love about LA. Not only are there OODLES of things to do for the under-car-renting-age crowd, but it's all right there, in your face. In Atlanta, you have to dig deep and seek out the fun. It takes time and patience, but then again, those aren't as popular in LA as they are in the South. Which brings me to something else. The South is sloooowww. LA is FAST! Move fast, live fast, meet people fast, do things fast, fast food, fast women, fast money, fast everything. ATL is slow cooked, slow churned, strolling along, hard work, perseverance, patience, blah blah and so forth. I don't know if I can handle that.

But I have been looking at apts in Atlanta and I could save a ton of money by moving back there. We're talking 800 for a studio apt to 675 for a one bedroom. With a washer/dryer in it!

A part of me feels like if you go to LA, you should be ready for it. You have to be prepared to fully open your arms and your mind to everything it has to offer, or else you'll be sad, disappointed, and lonely. Only now am I ready to immerse myself in LA, and funnily enough, I'm not really ready at all.

So Alex, if you do want to write that book about me, don't do it in pen, because you'll probably get tired of scratching things out over and over again.

E

My Christmas Wishlist Addendum

2008-12-01T13:25:00.002-05:00

I have this weird love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters. I love their clothing, I hate the prices. Sometimes I really do. I don't see why I should have to pay 68.00 for this zipper front skirt. It's just a piece of cloth with an exposed zipper going down it. Oh well. I succumb anyways.

And I thought I was totally done with my Christmas Wishlist and fully free of UO's iron consumer grip, until they had this.

What you do is pick a type of person and they show you all the items someone like that would like as gifts. For myself I picked THE ROMANTIC, and totally fell in love with all the j'adorable things. Things like this:
Tuxedo dress? Do want.
Silk flower headwrap? Yes pls.

And then for my bf I went to THE STARVING ARTIST and found all sorts of neat things he would like, if he were a starving hipster artist.

Anyway, it's basically awesome and I kinda love it, so UO, consider me once more amongst your loyal legion of fangirls. Now please build a UO in Northridge so I don't have to go so far anymore. Grazie.

E

"And That's A Job Well Done!" And Other Reasons Why The Holidays Can Be Fun

2008-12-01T00:00:00.004-05:00

So now that the doom and gloom of my previous post is over, let's talk about something funner, like how I spent my Thksgvng Brk. Yeah. It really does look cooler spelled that way.

I got in really late on Wednesday night to find my awesome sauce bf waiting for me in my old bedroom with flowers. Total "awwww!!" moment. Then Thksgvng day I got to sleep in till 1:00 pm, when I was awoken by my bf jumping on my bed. It's moments like that that make you forget anything bad that's ever happened to you, if only for that second.

After Turkey Day, which was hella boring and included us watching The Invasion, which no one but my mom and I found hilario, my bf and my mom went off to pick up a rental car. To properly illustrate how that turned out, let me provide you with an equation:

ME + CAR = SAFE FUN TIME. BF + CAR = CONSTANT TERROR AND POSSIBLE LOSS OF LIFE.

Just kidding. Not really. That is an exaggeration, but I did hold my breath a few times. And since he was driving, my bf got to control el radio, but that wasn't so bad because we listened to the CDs I burned him, and then (after much begging and asking) he let me listen to my Spice Girls album. Holla!! (and i'm totally not supposed to say anything, but he did dance to some of it)

So Friday was awesomesauce. We hung out with my bf's roommate April (who is awwweeesommmeee) for a bit. Her cat is pimp too. We sat in her apt, listening to records and eating some of her awesome "space cookies."

Let me just interject here that I am MUCH MUCH MUCH more fun when I have a substance in me. Just saying.

So then we went to a bar and then I got kicked out and then we went to another bar and then I had a beer! So you know, back to that whole win some, lose some philosophy. It turns out it was some guy's 30th bday and so everyone was dancing drunkenly and one seemingly coked up guy was jumping around. To emphasize this awesomeness, I proceeded to list some of the things you can't do while on cocaine. And then, since everyone was in the party mood, our waitress came to our table and looked at me and said,

"Do you want a beer?"

In the words of Sweet Dee: Boom. She was nice enough to pour me a small glass and then didn't even put it on the tab! And I got to drink Sweetwater, which is fantastic and totally snobby beer because it's a microbrew and owns all other beers in existence.

Then on Saturday my bf and I went to his apt and made the BOMBEST tomato soup everz. Por serio. Then we made garlic cheese bread and potatoes. We are perhaps the best cooking tag team since Chico & The man.

Alright...I know that was irrelevant but I NEVER get to make Chico & The Man references. Bear with me. Kthx.

Then we watched Idlewild, which was weird, but not bad and then we killed time for two hours and got back to my mom's house a little after 3.

So,uh, it's safe to say my ho-liday was thebomb.com. And you know what? So is my relationship. To quote a Pheonix album title, "It's never been like that." We talked and laughed and I got to punch him again and we communicated and it was gorgeous.

And then you know what my bf told me? He said I could "make love with words." That's fucking badass. I think I'm going to put that on my business card:

ERIKA
FREELANCE JOURNALIST/AUTHOR
MAKES LOVES WITH WORDS

Oh and while we were in the kitchen making that soup, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, but I totally made him stand up because I didn't want the gesture wasted. Pfft! Boys.

E

"Fuck You Hartsfield!" And All The Other Reasons Why Airports Blow

2008-11-30T23:37:00.003-05:00

What's the sitches bitches? Holy cat on a cactus, I am a sad combination of tired, queasy, frustrated, and...did I mention sad? I'm currently coming to you live from Denver, CO, on behalf of their generous free airport Wi-Fi. So props up to Denver. I can't go on One D At A Time because of..."questionable material" but oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Speaking of lose some, this had to be the shittiest day de la mi vida. My flight from Hartsfield gets delayed about thirty minutes. Cool, cool. We hadn't even left for the airport so things were alright. Then my flight gets delayed another thirty minutes. At this point I am sitting in the terminal, attempting to salvage the shitty chicken tortilla soup I spent my last dollars on (oyeah, which definitely wasn't closed properly and definitely came open in the bag). I am so sleepy that not even cold air can keep me awake.

My flight finally boards at 5:00 pm. When was it supposed to, you ask? 3:35. And did I mention that I had a connector flight in good old Denver to catch? Because I did. But because of my delayed flight, I didn't actually get into the Denver Airport till five minutes before my connector left. Oyeah, and then, because my plane was so small, my lil vintage suitcase had to be checked, which meant I had to wait to get that before I could catch my other plane.

Which I didn't catch.

I'm supposed to be in LA at 7:30. Because I have to take the only other flight going out to LAX tonight, I won't be there till maybe 12:30.

Despite how it sounds, having to kill almost 3 hours in an airport by yourself ain't fun. The high point of this was probably getting to stand on those moving sidewalks instead of walking.

By the way, in the hopes of lightening up my shoulder bag, I put my school books and jacket in my already crowded suitcase. And then I closed it. Lalalala...and then I heard this cracking sound and saw that the back of my suitcase had split open under the pressure. And then upon attempting to examine this further, I hit my head on the metal pillar next to me.

It's one hour till my flight leaves (hallelujah!) and I would just like to say that no one is ever allowed to complain about having to wait for a twenty or thirty minute flight delay. Ever. Because when you do, just think of me.

Ohmahgawd that sounded totally narcissistic, right?

E

TTYL!

2008-11-26T12:41:00.003-05:00

In about an hour and a half, I'm hopping on a plane and heading to ATL for Thanksgiving! Expect some not so live blogging and highly infrequent updates. But when I come back, expect awesomeness! Because there's a serio surprise coming in the not so future! Get ready!

In the meantime, I'll leave you guys with a video of one of my favorite songs. It REALLY sucks that byoP had to release a second EP with this song on it, because I never got around to buying that EP.

Abientot.

No Mas Antelones!

2008-11-25T01:14:00.003-05:00

I have no idea what the word for ant is in Spanish. I just call them antelones since it rhymes with pantalones and sounds really cute. Plus screaming No Mas Antelones really loud is sorta fun. Anyway, I'm having this mildly serio ant problem here in La Casa Del Diablo aka my apt. Obvi this is because my flighty, inconsiderate roommates like to leave the patio door open without closing the screen door. I've told them time and time again to close it (it's a fucking sliding screen door, why is it so hard to close? you are already up opening the patio door!).

So instead of walking all over the place the ants seemed to have conglomerated next to the couch. Actually next to the right hand side of the couch. Actually just on the right arm of the couch. I don't understand either. They cause me no inconvenience except for the fact that I put my food on the right arm of the couch.

What I am really trying to say through this touching and charming anecdote is that these ants need to vamanos. Really. Does anyone know how to get rid of ants without having to like buy expensive traps and whatnot?

I've just been spraying them with Lysol and swearing at them but it's not getting the point across. Sometimes I don't even think they're listening...

E

Party Time '08!

2008-11-24T21:29:00.002-05:00

Uhhh whoa. Cat. On. A. Cactus. There are so many bomb.com parties coming up! I'm pretty sure I'll still be in town on December 10th, and by then, I'll probably be fully moved into my new townhouse, so someone totally has to come with me to this! Afterwards, you can totally crash at my place and we'll drink all the liquor we siphoned! Fashion show! Party time! DJ! Shadowscene! Ellei J! Safari Sam's! Hol-la!

Oh sorry about that. I was starting to set the words to a rhythm in my head. Shit was bumpin'.

E

Cat On A Cactus!

2008-11-24T21:08:00.004-05:00

So the pics from the CD x Revolve party are up! Here's the whole album, but I picked a few photos of the people I knew, so you know, I could say I knew them and you guys would know I'm not crazy. Even though I'm crazy.

Oh and I totes need to work on my party pic faces. I don't get it. I stand in front of the mirror for at least 45 min before every party I go to, making faces and expressions and I always look stupid in every picture I take a said party. It's a vicious cycle.

Alright, here's me and Ellei. What is going on? Why am I waving? Where I am looking to? Why the hell did I cover up my POP sweater with my free scarf? I look like I was Photoshopped into this picture. I wasn't though, swearz.

Here's Skye. She was jammin' in the DJ booth. I think she told me she knew Posso. She showed me this pair of sequined leggings which were beyond the beyond.

This dude was the shiznat. As soon as I walked into Revolve he took me aside, told me I was the cutest thing ever, and said that I could have anything I wanted and needed, as long as I stuck with him. He introduced me to Skye, actually. Then he started getting pretty tipsy and asked me if I could tell he was drunk. I said no, obvi.

Alright. That's it. Just so you know I'm not crazy. Just un-photogenic. Oh and cat on a cactus is totes my new catchphrase. It's thebomb.com, basically.

E

The Most Special Movie Ever!

2008-11-24T02:20:00.004-05:00

I'm normally not a Michael Rapaport fan (not since Boston Public ended a milli years ago), but this movie looks kind of super weird funny awesome. In that weird funny awesome way that screams independent film. Plus I may be the only person on the planet who caught this, but I am loving the use of the Clock Work Army's song "The Day We Woke Up Without Mouths" in the trailer. Okay music geekiness over.

Um, so who's coming with me?

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

2008-11-23T02:27:00.004-05:00

Holy cat on a cactus you guyz, last night was too much fun! After being unfairly and stupidly stood up by this dude who asked ME to go to the bike shop with him, I was thoroughly miffed but determined to have an awesome sauce day nonetheless.

I basically wasted my day making useless phone calls and standing in front of the mirror, looking at my outfit from different angles, until about 5:00 pm, when I swung by the Costume Dept/Revolveclothing party.

It was...um amazing. Posso killed it and I basically stood around looking sad and lonely and awkward until this dude named Jeremy (uh I think? Or maybe Brandon?) took me under his wing and introduced me to the dudes running shit. I met the designer and owner of the store. Then I ran into Skye Ferreira who was saying that there was another girl named Erika who was on Missbehave, when I said, "I'm that girl!" And then there were wide eyes and hugging and she proceeded to introduce me to a few more people. And then I had some of her champagne sno-cone. And it was delicious.

Oh yeah, did I mention they were popping bottles all night? Por serio. Champagne was coming out of the woodwork. And they were screenprinting scarves. Mine's kinda cool. And the sno-cones were amazing. People were mixing them with champagne and it was fantastic.

After that I headed over to the clothing area of the store when someone put a camera in my face and took a picture. That's when I ran into Ellei J! She looked super familiar so I said, "What's your name?"

She said, "Ellei."

I said, "I'm Erika from Missbehave."

Then we hugged and bounced around for awhile and she introduced me to a few more people. Then we exchanged numbers and she hopped around taking pictures.

I was on the dance floor, live-texting and bopping around to the awesome music mix, when this chick named Carol and this dude named Tay started talking to me. It turns out Carol is a big proponent of underage drinking because she thinks, "21 is too old." She then proceeded to give me extensive tips on how and where to get drinks. Oh and then Tay gave me a flyer for his band's gig at the Bordello downtown.

I dipped out around 7:30 after saying goodbye to everyone and then went to Amoeba and bought another Bikini Kill album, prompting the clerk and I to have an extensively awesome conversation about Kathleen Hanna, Bikini Kill, and L7.

I had a camera with me but I was sorta afraid to use the flash (at the risk of looking tourist-y) so I don't have pictures. But that's okay because Ellei took a ton of them so when they're up I link to those. Oh! And I took a picture with Ellei. She's so bouncy, it's really rad. When we hugged goodbye, we hooked ears and I said, "That's never happened to me before."

And she said, "I think I have big ears."

I think I can now say I am acclimated to LA!

E

Being Poor CAN Be Funny

2008-11-21T18:14:00.002-05:00

We were talking about minimum wage and living conditions these days in my English class today. Instead of super analyzing and getting mad intellectual, we just ended up swapping stories from our past min wage jobs.

This one is my favorite. This dude named Juan told it to us and we were all cracked up for a good five minutes straight.

"I had this job once where I had to wear a suit. So I bought one and the motherfucker paid me less than the suit."

This just in: poor, even now, can still be funny.

E

Free Show For Those With Nothing Better To Do Tonight

2008-11-21T17:29:00.004-05:00

Do you live in LA? Are you bored? Have you no friends?

Good!

Head over to the 3rd St Promenade tonight in Santa Monica and see Links live at the Apple Store. Por libre! Free! No cost.

I've actually seen a band live at an Apple Store and it's a fun time. Go. Please. Make friends, listen to indie dance music, have a ball. We are your friends. You'll never be alone again, so come on.

E

I'm Not Sure Why I'm Feeling So Introspective/Depressed Today...

2008-11-21T14:02:00.004-05:00

This is something I told my boyfriend a few days before I left for California.

We sat on his bed and I looked at my watch. It's the same watch I'd had for about three years, and had been through a lot with me. The wear and tear was starting to show.

I said, "See this watch? I've had it forever. It's the only watch I've used for about three years. But now it's starting to get old and soon, it'll break and stop working and I'll need something new. This watch is Atlanta. I need something new. This one has had enough."

A few weeks after I moved to California, my watch broke. Well, the actual watch part is still ticking, but the strap broke completely, despite desperate attempts to mend it.

I think it means that you really can't hold on to the past forever, but that life keeps going regardless.

E

Um, Whoa

2008-11-21T02:05:00.002-05:00

These sunglasses are my dream date. They probably will look stupid on me, but I want them anyway. They are $20. That is the most I've ever spent on sunglasses. If I were to buy them. But, you guys love me, so uh, I'll let one of you lovely ladies buy them for me. Thaaaaanks!

E

I Am Loving The Ugly!

2008-11-20T23:32:00.003-05:00

So, um, whoa, is it just me or is this new season of Ugly Betty getting amazing-riffc?! Sure, shitty and weird things are happening to the supporting characters, but Betty has been basking in some well deserved happiness! I am all about this newfound joie de vivre! She got a fantastic downtown apt and moved in next to this super cute guitar playing wonder boy! (Even if wonder boy did totally makeout randomly with Amanda and temporarily crush Betty's poor heart) Things are getting sort of tricky for her here and there, but she's still managing to stay optimistic and passionate!

Okay, maybe I am also just loving Betty because I can basically identify with her constantly. Not to mention the fact that her clothing is getting more clashy and therefore 32784937629% more awesome.

I don't want this season to end. Ever. Even if it has to run for 70 more years, till I'm dead. Oh wait, I just remembered I'm killing myself at 30. So if they could just run this season for 12 more years pls. Kthx.

WHITE RICE: THE UPDATE

2008-11-20T19:41:00.004-05:00

Since I know you guys are genuinely interested in the state of White Rice Magazine (my most exciting endeavor and bastard child of a feminist startup magazine), I thought I would let you know what's going on with it.

So I got the old drafts that were printed up about a year ago and after I read over them, I realized that White Rice surriously needs a facelift. But more than that, it needs a concept. The poor thing was seriously lacking in theme and cohesion. That's the first thing to be fixed.

Secondly, the White Rice I was writing focused on music, books, movie, and fashion. Is there anything else anyone can think of throw in there? Maybe art or social events?

And awesomely enough, I've been reading up on creating flash websites in the hopes that we could produce White Rice as an online magazine (making it easier to communicate ideas between the many states we reside in since we can all look at the same thing at once, and making it more accessible and cheaper to create!). It looks easy enough, but I have a feeling a little AV nerd seduction is in order to make this a reality.

So that's it everyone. Things are still very much in their infant stages, but I'm looking forward to 2009 for the opportunities it will present.

Oh and V and I have the launch party planned out. Free beer, cheese, and crackers for everyone who attends!

E

One. More. Week.

2008-11-20T01:07:00.003-05:00

Um, ohmahgawd ohmahgawd ohmahgawd! It's only one more boring week until Thanksgiving! You know what that means, right???

One more week till I see my boyfriend!

I'm super excited because we haven't seen each other since August. Craze shit has happened since then, obvi. I am happy to see him a) because I love him very much and I adore seeing and being around him, b) because he (sadly?) is one of my only true friends and it'll be nice to be around someone who gets me and c) because I feel like I've changed and developed so much (for better and maybe worse) that I almost want to show myself off. Like when you get that awesome sauce top at F21 for 60% off and you want to wear it the very next day just so you can tell people you got it for 60% off when people compliment you on it.

Not to mention the fact that Thanksgiving is like the jumpoff for the rest of the year. After it passes, it's Christmas, the New Year, and then not only will I be in my fantastic new townhouse, but I'll have a better job, more opportunities, and a few seriously life altering decisions to make.

I'm stoked. You should be too. To get you in the mood, please direct your attention to this video:

Damn. A decade later and I still hate Peppermint Patty.

E

Lily Allen On Nylon's Dec/Jan 09 Cover

2008-11-19T14:34:00.007-05:00

Thoughts? I personally think she looks like a white Rihanna. But Lily's always cute, so I can't say anything bad.

E

All I Want For Christmas Is...This Giant List Of Stuff

2008-11-18T23:18:00.003-05:00

So Lolita Hazed has brought up Christmas shopping. And it's scary because we only have 40 days to make our friends' and fam's holiday deepest desires into realities. Luckily for me, I have no friends and therefore have no problems getting gifts!

Just kidding, but really, luckily for me, I don't have too many special people in my life and so I only have four people on my shopping list. Also luckily, I know my homeslices like my nail polish collection: inside and out. So shopping isn't too hard for them.

But. I rarely ask for Christmas presents, and usually just suggest something simple if prodded, like perfume or something on vinyl. However, this year, I think I'm gonna cash in on all those years of being a complacent gift receiver. So here's my tentative list:

a pair of lace up boots with a 2 to 3 inch heel
pink hi-top chucks
money for my tattoo (final deicision: i am going to get the words in the hustle i trust in a banner on my forearm. it will be bitching)
catholic saint candles
the new earlimart cd
more black leggings
this record player so i can give mine to my mom (so she can listen to her english beat and stevie wonder albums in peace)
more eyeliner
these cups and these cups
this notebook
a vest. just one. i just need one.
a new pair of flats. my toes are poking out of all mine.
a haircut. please.
a new bottle of perfume. preferably this one.

Um, thanks. Merry Christmas.

E

If You Could Only FEEL What I Am Seeing

2008-11-18T04:12:00.003-05:00

My math class, Developmental Mathematics 93 AKA Math for those who didn't care enough in high school or on the SATs or on the ELM exam, has been a constant source of entertainment since the year started. From the slightly overcast redhead, to the dudes doing the gangsta lean in the corner, to the kids that are always playing with each other's hair, to the "I'm really just doing this for the credits" tutors, I look forward to going to that class for the people. The lessons? Dude, I learned this stuff twice already.

That's right. I had to repeat Algebra in 9th grade.

Anyway, so what's currently panning out to be a potentially exciting and interesting plot development are the love triangles sprouting up all over the place. Well, they're not exactly "love" triangles per se, since they're all crushes, but this is fun!

Let me lay it out for you guys. There are about 7 key players in this production:

Me (puleeze don't ask how I got stuck in this. It just doesn't pay to be a cute girl who can get along with guys well these days)
Chris
Eduardo
Adrian
Hot Topic Redhead Girl (HTRG)
Blond Chick Whose Name I Don't Know (Blondie)
Girl Who Hangs Out With The Girl Who Lives In My Building (Understudy)

So, despite only knowing him for about 3 months, Blondie likes Chris. She shoots him smiles and laughs when he does stupid shit. Unfortunately for her, Chris likes me. These feelings are unreturned, obvi, because I sorta have a little crush on Eduardo. He's really awesome. It's like a baby crush though...it's definitely not going anywhere. Enter Adrian, who hails from Napa Valley and likes me. He asked me to hang out with him Friday night but I told him I had other plans. (Yeah, sit in front of the cough stuffing my face with cereal right out of the box and making good friends with the Internet) Luckily for me, HTRG enjoys Adrian's company. In fact, I thought he was trying to get with her before he suddenly started trying to woo me for some odd reason. Now here's where the Understudy comes in. She has a thing for Eduardo, who reeeeally doesn't like her. Whatevs. I could touch him before she could. But I won't. I can keep my hands to myself.

You see what I am walking into three days a week? A room full of undersexed, overly hormonal kids who are all lusting over each other. I swear...if you came in there, you'd see it too.

E

That Bob. Must Stop.

2008-11-17T03:33:00.004-05:00

Okay, so this will come off pretty hypocritical since I have a bob and have rocked one for about a year now, but ohmuhgawdddd...enough with the bobs already! When I got my hair cut, everyone and their weave lovin' mama had long hair. I remember flipping through mags looking for things to do with my hair and finding nothing.

Nothing!

Now suddenly the whole world has bought a one way ticket to Bob-Land, home of the Mousy Haircut?

Ugh. Makes me just wanna throw cats at people's heads. Or grow 1000 fists to punch them with. Either/or.

Goddamn trendy haircut. If I ever get a long haired cat, I think I'm gonna give it a bob. I'm gonna go get some Cup Noodles now. Did I mention that tonight was my last day of work? I'm kinda tired. Can't believe it's almost Christmas. Great. That means I have go get started on my Best Of '08 album list...

Oh yeah and I'm gonna stop ending my posts with Deuces, Erika. I think I'll just go for the sleeker, cleaner, E. Maybe XOXO, Gossip Girl?

E

"You Rock Like A Girl." - "Thank You."

2008-11-16T04:20:00.005-05:00

Man...I wish I could have spent my formative and angst-ridden teenage years in the 90s. But noooo. I had to blossom in the gross '00s. Not important. Important is the fact that I spent an entire hour last night reading up on Kathleen Hanna. Important is the fact that she has become my Gloria Steinem.

Important is the fact that I spent two and a half hours listening to 90s riot grrrl rock music from the Muffs, the 5,6,7,8's, Free Kitten, Lunachicks, and Hole. Important is the fact that tonight, I bought my first Bikini Kill record.

Really important is that I found the video for this song (btw, one of my favorite songs in ever). I wish I had been a teen when grunge was in. I would get a pair of lace-up boots, patterned tights, and sundress, and put this song on whilst leaning over the bathtub to die my hair blue. Now enjoy.

Oh yeah, and important is the fact that once I go back to Atlanta and get to drum again, I will so totally be starting a garage band. It will so be awesomeplus.

Deuces,
Erika

WTF To Infinity

2008-11-14T04:36:00.004-05:00

Hmmm...boys are weird. Espesh boys that hint at things and beat around the bush in reference to things that don't even make sense to you. My boyfriend is talking to me on the phone and is all mysterious and whanot, saying, "I know your dirty little secret."

I am like, "what are you talking about?"

He just repeats the same sentence. I tell him how vague he's being and then he says that he's purposely being vague.

Then I say, "Being vague is for poets and hipsters."

But that's the end of the topic. What is he talking about? It sounded like he was smiling when he said it. Ah well. If he's talking about the blog, then ohai Sam! I love you! But if not then he's found something of mine that I didn't even know about.

Dudes. Boys are so weird. I wish I could throw cats at their heads sometimes. Then again, I'm pretty weird too. Maybe that's why we mesh so well.

Deuces,
Erika

East Coast Or West Coast Bitches?

2008-11-12T22:07:00.002-05:00

So Public Domain just came out with two new shirts for each of the long dueling, unequally amazing coasts. Duh, because I'm an LA kid for life, I pick West Coast. I'm pretty sure everyone lives here. But I have reason to believe some of you are dwelling on the East, and even more surprising is the fact that a few of you may be living in the grey space between the coasts!

E or W. Take your pick ladies. And then cop the shirt, because it's only 20.00. We'll all get together, wear them, get really drunk, and then get geographically belligerent! Holiday memories for everyone!

I'm Sofa King Excited!

2008-11-11T17:20:00.004-05:00

Not just because I am moving, but because nothing but good things are happening! It turns out that not only does my boyfriend not have cancer anymore, but he's moving too! Long, slightly sad and personal story short, he was living with his father and nothing was going well there. They don't have the best relationship. So he got together with his art friend and her friend and decided to rent this house out from this dude. I hear it's gorgeous and cheap and whoo! and yea!

It's like we've all hit our senior years (metaphorically, of course). We were weighed down by our schoolwork and the heavy hand of the principal and teachers, plus the pressure to get into the right college...but now all that's done. We've been accepted into our schools of choice, after months of sacrifice to study, passed our tests, and now we're just waiting, scribbling hearts onto desk corners, pretending to pat attention in class...with our eyes on the prize. People can't touch us. We put in four long years and now we're almost out. We won.

Does anyone get that metaphor? It's really working for me now. I'm at complete peace. I can't stop crying. For the first time in my entire life, they're tears of joy.

Deuces,
Erika

I'm Moving! And Other Interesting News!

2008-11-11T16:55:00.008-05:00

That's right bitches! I'm relocating! But not to awesome super cool have fun Hollywood like I'd wanted, mostly because I'm too poor to. And I have no one to live with, so my poor ass has to make rent alone. But oh well. Instead I am moving to not fun super boring kinda hot mostly empty Calabasas, CA. Does that sound familiar? It should. The Kardashians live there too. So with my move it should up the population to a whopping eight.

I'll be shipping up and shipping out in mid January, and I couldn't be more excited to get away from this hellhole apt. Plus the new apt has a washer/dryer in it so no more of this washing clothes twice a month to save time and money. Booyah!

And in other interesting news, my bf sent me my old drafts and copies of White Rice! Which means we can be in business pretty soon with this stuff! V and I worked ourselves up into a frenzy talking about it. There're no plans for the mag yet, but a launch party with beer and crackers is in the works!

Also, I'm going back to Atlanta in two weeks so expect fun tales and some not so live blogging! AND...I JUST BOUGHT...

SPICE GIRLS GREATEST HITS!!!!

It's so awesome! I can't believe I a) got it used for only 7.99 and b) remember all the words almost a decade later! This is why school should focus more on what you do retain than what you don't. The outcome of the Crimean War? I dunno. The words to "Spice Up Your Life?" Got 'em!

Deuces,
Erika

I'm On Cocaine, Like It Was 1980

2008-11-10T01:11:00.005-05:00

DUDEZ. In the course of about a week, my life took a full 180 turn. No, more like the illegal solid line crossing U-Turn you make at 1 am when no one else is on the road. That fast. Por serio. I quit my job, got MAD sick, got flight plans made to see my mom back in Atlanta in two weeks, I broke up with my boyfriend and then got back together, I FINALLY got my goddamn cable money, and I had a motherfucking epiphany.

And I met a boy. But more on that later.

I realized, ugh, finally, that I am in control of my own life. My boyfriend was sorta upset that I never seemed to hear him when he told me that, but I'm pretty sure it was a lesson I had to learn on my own. I was bogged down, drowning in the deep end of the pool because I'd chosen to do a cannonball into it instead of climbing down the little ladder, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, too possessed by depression and frustration to want to do anything except stumble through the day as effort and pain-lessly as possible.

But then I went to Sunset, like always, on Friday, (and it turns out I've been to Amoeba so much that random employees are starting to recognize me as I scramble between the sale VHS and the sale LP sections), and I went to 7-11. Then I got some hot dogs and sat in front of the CNN building watching Larry King on the big TV with the homeless people.

I felt calm. I felt like things could work out. I felt happy. (Granted, I was unaware that a 50.00 parking ticket was waiting for me three blocks away) I felt unstoppable and empowered and that's how I feel now.

When people are assholes to me (which they usually are), I repeat the words Don't Take It Personally over and over in my head. I feel like I can finally make decisions with my needs more so than others' in mind. I feel like it is possible to seperate yourself from your environment, and not allow it to bring you down or turn you into the bottomfeeders that dwell in it. I know what I want in a friend, and I'm committing myself to finding some. I feel like life can throw a shit ton at me and I can handle it. I'm ready. Come on 2oo9. You're my year.

And I've finally decided on a tattoo: never stop the hustle. And it's going on my forearm so whenever I get tired, or weary, or weak, I can look down at it and remember that this shit is for me. The things I do may benefit others, they may hurt others, they may change the whole goddamn world, but at the end of the day, the things I do are for me.

Ohai, and did I say something about a boy?

So I got suuuuuper sick on Tuesday (election) night. Shakes, body aches, light-headedness, nausea, the works. I went to the fancy schmancy hipster-ish Earth Bar that sits adjacent to the dry cleaners and got something called a Wellness Shot, which is basically a shot of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and various oils. It tastes like hot shit. And not in the cool way. The dude serving it up talked to me for a bit about how I was feeling and said he hoped the shot worked. We even joked around a little bit. It was sort of freaky though, since that is exactly how I met my boyfriend. He was working in a hipster-ish juice place and I happened to meet him the day I quit/got fired from my job. So apparently bad events are opportunities to meet great people I guess.

Anyway, he happened to stop by tonight when I was at work to ask how things went down. Grossly but shamelessly (as is me), I told him how I basically threw up everything that was in me on Tuesday. He said, "Bummer." And then smiled. He's so sweetcute. Huh. I just realized I don't know his name. Oh but he doesn't know mine either. Ah well. Serendipity. So he said goodbye and then I watched him climb onto his motorcycle and drive off. That's when I knew:

HE SHOULD BE MY FRIEND.

Although I do instinctively want to fuck scruffy haired boys that have cute smiles, I really just want them to be my friends, to teach me how to skateboard and laugh when I burp when we're drinking 40 oz in a treehouse (note: build a treehouse), or assist in my judgment of other chicks at the mall, or stick up for me when someone says something mean. In all honesty, I seek a brother in a male friend (probably since I did have a half-brother, but never ever saw him, so basically didn't have one at all), but oh well. Dysfunction!

Um, plus he has a motorcycle. I die, I die, I die. The chance to ride on that thing would be bitching, espesh if we were going back to his place to play video games.

Now that would be the bomb.com.

Deuces,
Erika

Repo! The Genetic Opera

2008-11-07T02:29:00.005-05:00

So since I'm kinda becoming the self proclaimed darling of the indie movie scene (okay, so only like one person knows me at the Sunset 5), I guess I will be seeing at least one movie per week. Except for that one time when I saw Happy Go Lucky on Friday and then Let The Right One In on Saturday night. But that was rad because I ran into this awesome customer while waiting in line and I totes helped him and his friend make an educated ticket purchase.

Anyway, this week's fantastic flick is called Repo! The Genetic Opera. Basically it's set in 2056, a time where plastic surgery runs rampant, the city's people are addicted to painkillers, and organ failure has become an epidemic. This big company, GeneCo loans citizens organs, and if they miss a payment, the Repo man comes and...well, that's the end of them. The whole thing is set Sin City style, and basically has this rock opera vibe going on. You know what? I'll just show you the trailer and you'll want to see it too.

Deuces,
Erika

///UPDATE///
The movie was awesome! Basically it was the best combo of soft porn, goth, musicals, and comedy that I've seen yet. The premiere was craze...people were dressed up as characters from the film, they were taking photos and making videos, these girls started singing every song from the movie, and I chatted it up with a man wearing a cape. Good fun, good movie, cool director. He talked to us before the film started and then the audience clapped when his name came up in the end credits.

I Got 99 Problems and A Bitch Is One

2008-11-06T23:49:00.003-05:00

When I lived in Atlanta I knew generally mean, bitchy people existed, because I saw them occasionally in school or on the train (that's right you guys, I actually use to take the public transit train...sometimes even twice a week!), but I never really came in contact with them. That's why the reality that there are some people out there who are just awful, terrible humans hit me so hard when I moved out here and started frequenting Hollywood.

It's still hard for me to see and experience firsthand the cruelty and rudeness people can exhibit. Just at work, I took a little longer to deliver this man's order. It wasn't my fault, it was a computer malfunction that said his order was somewhere it wasn't. When I brought the order to him he told me, "You know, I would have appreciated it if you'd told me you were going to take so long. I've been standing here for about ten minutes (total lie)." So I quietly said sorry and finished processing his order. After he left I heaved a sigh and said, "whoa, asshole," to another customer who'd been standing there and nodded in agreement.

Then tonight I was at Ralph's, standing in the Rotisserie area to get those fantastic potato wedges that they are ALWAYS OUT OF DAMMIT, and I saw this old lady and this burly dude in line. The dude turns to the lady and says, "You know, it's really rude to have your cart right next to me like that." She says, "There's nothing I can do." At first I think this is a joke, but then realize that he is serious. I can't even believe it. He says, "Well you could have left your cart over there outside of the line." Here this thirty-something dude is, bitching at this wrinkly-stockinged, orthopedic shoe wearing, grey haired old lady who looks old enough to be his granny. I'm in shock. He just storms off and the lady looks worried and confused.

Still, even with all the awful people populating this planet, I'd like to believe that the good outweigh the bad. There's evidence in all the people who have ever given me a hand, given me a job, or given me a chance based on the kindness of their hearts or their sheer amount of compassion. I don't think I'll ever understand why people find their worst qualities and choose to display those to the world, but at least karma will take care of them.

Deuces,
Erika